They say that marriage should be a once in a lifetime thing, but Pamela Anderson isn't listening. She's already been married once, and in the very near future that number will increase to five.

Now, we know what you're thinking – Pamela Anderson is an arch self-publicist that she's only said that she's going to marry Kid Rock four times to promote some kind of Pamela Anderson poker site. But where's your belief in the power of love, damnit? There will be four times the love if Pamela Anderson gets married to Kid Rock four times. And, even better than that, four eye-poppingly pornographic Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock honeymoon sex tapes to splash all over the internet.

She sure does move fast, that Pamela Anderson. Except on Baywatch, or the start of her Barb Wire movie, of course, where she did everything in slow motion to make her ladyhills wobble about a bit more. But that's beside the point – we're talking about Pamela Anderson moving fast in her private life. Pamela Anderson married Tommy Lee after only knowing him for 96 hours, and she apparently had it off with Steve Jones from T4 before she realised what an insufferable goon he was.

And Pamela Anderson isn't being tardy with Kid Rock, either. It was only nine days ago that it was announced that Pamela Anderson would marry Kid Rock, and now it's being reported that the wedding will take place this weekend in St Tropez. What are we saying, we mean the first wedding -  all in all, Pamela Anderson is going to marry Kid Rock four times, as she told reporters at the launch of a Pamela Anderson poker website. After St Tropez:

"We had to do Malibu, we've got to do Detroit, and we've got to do Nashville."

Quite why Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock are having to get married four times is beyond us, but we've got it down to two possibilities. Either a) that's where all their family and friends live or b) St Tropez, Malibu, Detroit and Nashville are all stops on the Pamela Anderson Please Take Me Seriously Save The Chickens And Seals tour. Since that tour doesn't actually exist, we'll plump for the first one. Wedding details were scant, but Pamela Anderson did say this about Kid Rock, real name Bob Ritchie:

"If Bob knew he was getting married five years ago in St. Tropez, he wouldn't have believed it."

So everything's finally working out well for Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock. And surely nobody's been dumb enough to hire Scott Stapp to fix the stag nights…

Read more:

Anderson, Kid Rock To Wed Numerous Times – Newsday

[story by Stuart Heritage]