When you’re as famous as Pamela Anderson it must be difficult to meet trustworthy men – word has it that the only place Pamela Anderson ever looks for boyfriends these days is at the annual Notorious Filthy Internet Sex Tape Star convention.

Some women like to be wooed with flowers, other women with moonlit strolls along a beachfront serenaded by an angelic cicada chorus, but not Pamela Anderson. This is because Pamela Anderson only likes to be wooed by the sight of her paramour frenziedly boffing all sorts of other women on the internet. After marriages to leading sex tape stars Tommy Lee and Kid Rock, it’s been announced that Pamela Anderson has applied for a marriage license so she can get hitched to Rick Salomon, the man in the Paris Hilton internet sex tape. Boys, you know what this means? Start masturbating on your webcam now and there’s a chance you could be the next Mr Pamela Anderson when her marriage to Rick Salomon invariably fails before Christmas.