Pamela Anderson might be a grown ass woman in her forties, but for as long as I can remember (which is probably as long as she’s been relevant), her love life has been more like a goddamn teenage girls. Bitch jumps the gun and files for divorce before she’s actually over somebody all the fucking time, and it’s proven to be no different with third husband, Rick Salomon.
Pammy married Rick in late 2007, then got an annulment in early 2008. They remarried in 2014, and a few months later BAM! She filed for divorce again. But, being Pamela Anderson, the type of woman who never truly gets over any of the dick she’s ridden, Pam has decided “Nah, Imma keep grinding on Paris Hilton and Shannon Doherty’s former slam piece for just a little longer.”
Pam Anderson’s Facebook relationship status is like that of every bitch in junior high who spends six months going from “In a relationship with…” to “Single” with the same person every second week. Homegirl can’t make up her mind!
Let’s look at a rundown of her relationships:
Pam marries Tommy Lee in 1995 after knowing him for four fucking days. I can’t even tell if I want to blow someone after four days, so bitch moves fast. She files for divorce in 1998, but they got back together in early 2001, only to split later in the year and get back together once again in 2008. To be fair, she did say in 2007 that her and Lee often had sex even after they divorced. Pamela Anderson: Divorces the Man, Not the Dick?Part 1.
Then she moves on to Kid Rock. They start going out in 2002, get engaged, but then she dumps him in 2003 only to marry him in July 2006 only to divorce him in November 2006, because, as she’s proven, Pam Anderson takes the sanctity of marriage really fucking seriously.
Finally, we have her current husband: Rick Salomon, famous for making a shitty sex tape with a teenage Paris Hilton, then going on to marry 90’s teen queen, Shannon Doherty. Pam married Rick in October 2007 during the intermission of a Vegas magic show she was in (like I said, respects marriage), separated from him December 2007, and got it annulled February 2008.
BUT WAIT! We now come to Pamela Anderson: Divorces the Man, Not the Dick Part 2! Not long after they divorced, Pam went on “Ellen” and told her that she and Rick were still “friends with benefits”. She married Rick again a few months ago, filed from divorce from his ass in late July, but has now decided that, being the indecisive idiot she is, she doesn’t want to break up.
Not to be a stereotypical white girl, but I seriously just can’t wait Pamela Anderson. I feel like she’ll marry the first dude who offers her a piece of gum at a party, then dump him when he forgets to take out the garbage, then remember how good the dick is and ask for him back. It’s like she has relationship ADD.
Girl, you are almost 50. You need to settle your ass down and make up your damn mind about what you want. There are only so many eye rolls I can give you, and in terms of you canceling your divorce to Rick Salomon, I give you 3.5 eye rolls out of 5.