Skins Review: The Misery Of Episode Two

by Lauren Mullineaux

It’s a brand new week, scum buckets, and to start the downward decline is a brand spanking new episode of Skins and boy oh boy is it miserable this time around! Are you lucky? First, let’s get real for a moment folks. This is the second episode, so they have to bring out the big [...]

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Awesome or Off-Putting: Malaysia’s Diabolical Oily Men

by Shawn Lindseth

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable. You’re familiar with first world problems, right? Running out of mustard, the laundry room is all the way down in the basement [...]

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Soap Spoilers! Pinching! Death! Planning Permission!

by Joanna Bolouri

Hello readers. Have a good week? If our frighteningly accurate hecklerscopes are correct, then most of you are either dead or feeling a very real sense of shame and self loathing. Either is fine with us. For those of you still here, let’s look at what’s going to happen in Soapland this week. Yep, you [...]

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Only Fools & Horses Set for American Remake Which Puts Other Menial World Events Into Stark Perspective

by Sophie Hall

A year from now… No. Sorry, no. We don’t do that. We’re not a TV supplement. (We wish!) (No, not really.) (We mean, Christ, can you imagine?) (Shut up.) So, basically Only Fools and Horses, inherently British, pukka, CUSHTY Only Fools & Horses has just been commissioned for a US Pilot! Well, we all saw [...]

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Ex-TOWIE Star Harry Derbidge Wins “Idiots’ Idiot” Award

by Michael Park

There isn’t much to be said about Harry Derbidge that hasn’t already been said. By that we mean that there is very little to say about Harry Derbidge aside from the fact that he appears to have an IQ comparable to that of a brain-damaged heron. In fact, up until today we hadn’t actually heard [...]

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Drake Proves That Even Celebrities Have Unattainable Goals

by Michael Park

You’re familiar with Drake already, aren’t you? Of course you are. You’re totally down with the kids. Well, he’s spent the weekend proving that even people with watch collections have hopes and dreams. Not content with selling loads of records to over-protective hip-hop fans, Drake is apparently itching to play US President Barack Obama in [...]

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Sinead O’Connor Is Back With Her Husband. Again.

by Sophie Hall

Good news! After a month of torrential rain, uncharted deceit to our own promises to ourselves, the big N-Dubz split, and the bit in the Lana Del Ray SNL performance where she momentarily went through male puberty, January is finally ending – and on a high. Sinead O Connor’s back with her lovely hub! Hurrah! Righto [...]

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Dr. Conrad Murray Wants An Electronic Tag & A Get Out Of Jail Free Card

by Matthew Laidlow

When you’re in a position of note, it’s easy to get carried away and become an egotistical crack-shack. One need only look at Sting’s self-satisfied fizzog to see exactly what we mean. Not everybody has it so easy once they’ve been elevated to a “status” – especially one they might not want. Who are we [...]

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Review: Dancing on Ice – Ruining the Concept of “Duels” for Everyone

by Jacki Evans

What springs to mind when somebody says “duel”? People flouncing about with swords, trying to kill each other? Yes? Well, forget about that. Because this week, Dancing on Ice brought us the least threatening duels of all time. There were no swords. There was no serious injury. There were just two celebrities on the ice [...]

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The Big Breakfast Is Coming Back! For The Olympics?!

by Robin Darke

Any child of the nineties will remember not wanting to go to school. Not because the education system was as messed up as Chloe Sims’ face, or because of the taunts of  the three stripe-clad knuckle-draggers who marked themselves as the school’s social elite. It was because they wanted nothing more than to watch The [...]

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