New Moon: Miley Cyrus Really Doesn’t Like Twilight, OK? Jeez
Let's play a quick game. Things that Miley Cyrus likes: parties, the USA, money, the sound of her own voice. Things that Miley Cyrus doesn't like:
Twilight. There must be other things too - like having a dad whose beard is shaped like a stripper's vagina, probably - but
Twilight is the main one. Miley Cyrus really doesn't like
Twilight. We know this because Miley Cyrus told someone that she didn't like
Twilight and now it's news. Because that's how news works.
In fact, Miley Cyrus says that she doesn't even believe in
Twilight, which is silly because it clearly exists. A damning indictment of the homeschool curriculum from Miley Cyrus, there.
This Just In: Levi Johnston’s Penis Obscured By Foliage
Admit it, the highlight of your November was going to involve examining Levi Johnston's penis for protruding veins. Well not any more, tough guy. That just isn't going to happen. Sure, ever since Levi Johnston first announced his upcoming
Playgirl spread, everyone had assumed that he'd whap his willy around at some point - but now the
Playgirl photoshoot has taken place, and we're sad to report that Levi Johnston keeps it covered up throughout.
Obviously by 'sad to report' we mean 'sad that our lives have reached a point where we're expected to express emotion based on whether or not an opportunistic redneck has displayed his genitalia in a magazine for money or not', but you get the point.