ITV2 Enlist 90s Alt Band Daisy Chainsaw For Latest Gossip Girl Trailer

by Kris Silver

ITV2 is a very odd channel. They seem intent on keeping Kerry Katona’s career alive for reasons that quite frankly baffle anyone with half a brain cell, even budget supermarket Iceland had enough sense to get rid of her and they had an advert in which Jason Donovan did the can-can in fish nets. But [...]

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Charlie Sheen Has Tiger Blood. Other Celebrities Have…

by Paul Gibson

As the sound of riotous laughter at Charlie Sheen’s kerraazy antics begins to quieten, and morph into more of an embarrassed chuckle, we must ask ourselves what the tragic actor’s manic spree of self-delusionary word vomiting has left us with. Has he changed the world somehow, perhaps by using his “warlock brain” to unlock the [...]

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Atomic Kitten Singer Liz McClarnon Has No Cool Friends

by Joanna Bolouri

Atomic Kitten.  Remember them? They were good weren’t they? Oh, that’s right they were amazingly gash but they did release ‘Whole Again’, a song loved by chav women the world over and so heartbreakingly rubbish we once set fire to our own ears in disgust and swore we’d never listen to pop music EVER again. [...]

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Seann William Scott Leaves Rehab But Still Has Annoying Erroneous ‘N’

by Mof Gimmers

Gormless, dithering shitferbrains Seann William Scott has stumbled out of rehab to absolutely no fanfare, blinking in the sunlight and pondering about where his life when wrong and precisely when it became so very, very empty. Sadly, the one thing he failed to shake off is that stupid ‘n’ at the end of his first [...]

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Adele Doesn’t Care About What She Looks Like But That Doesn’t Mean She’s Not Superficial

by Michael Park

If you want to be the best, and you want to beat the rest, dedication’s what you need. Thanks for sticking with us through the trumpet solo. In order to break as many records as Adele has, you need to be dedicated to your craft and willing to make sacrifices in the pursuit of success, [...]

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Badvertising: Let’s Celebrate Britain. And Britishness. And The Recession. And What An Advertising Boom It Must Be.

by Michael Park

There are few things in the world that are more annoying than rampant nationalism in any country. Take supermarkets, for example. Loads of people all milling around like bleating herds of sheep with no real purpose other than to load their trolleys with crisps, vodka and Strawberry bon-bons. They’re annoying aren’t they? Or Freddy Flintoff [...]

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Taylor Momsen Is Serious About Music, But Alas, Not So Much About Putting Clothes On

by Mof Gimmers

Taylor Momsen, is like, totally serious about her music and wants us all to know that, despite distracting us from said music by constantly getting her lady baps out, this really isn’t a “vanity” project. Of course, you’ll definitely know Momsen from her role as Jenny Humphrey in Gossip Girl. However, she’s been effectively thrown [...]

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Witherspoon So Bored By Pattinson’s Flacid, Grey Penis That She Infects Him With Smallpox

by Michael Park

Limelight-shy attention whore and alleged Dr. Conrad Murray copycat killer* Reese Witherspoon has spoken on her inevitable sex scenes with human floorboard impersonator Robert Pattinson in their new film Waterboarding For Elephants. Witherspoon, whose enjoyment of shooting rifles at paparazzos is well-documented, claiming that her gasping disappointment at the size, shape and colour of her [...]

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Charlie Sheen Continues To Exist, Sadly

by Mof Gimmers

You know when you squeeze a spot and two return in its place? That’s what Charlie Sheen is like. He was once a bit of a pus bag, but now he’s more like a weeping rash – everywhere and disgusting to look at. And here he comes, to bother us with his presence once again [...]

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Hecklerspray’s Nude Celebrity Breakdown: Spring 2011

by Kris Silver

Spring is in the air, those gloomy winter days are behind us for another year and we can look forward to all of the joys that the sunshine brings: flowers blooming, birds singing and, most importantly, BOOBS! That’s right, it’s the time of year where celebrity clothes disappear at the same rate as clouds. This [...]

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