Readers’ Letters: Murder, Virgins And Singing For hecklerspray

by Mof Gimmers

Here we are again, nut-deep in readers’ letters and correspondence. The Muse fans, for now at least, have been sent to bed with no supper (but we can still hear them crying through the floorboards of the hecklerspray bedsit) but the Michael Jackson fans have really gone to town this week! Thank goodness for them [...]

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George Clooney Drank The Bong Water To Become Politician

by Mof Gimmers

For some reason, people are under the impression that George Clooney is going to run for office. If he did, he couldn’t be a Democrat because he’s too laid back, even for them. He certainly couldn’t be a Republican because he doesn’t seem mentally challenged in some way. Clooney would have to start a new [...]

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Britney Spears Made $500,000 for Hold It Against Me Product Placement

by Amy Grindhouse

Britney Spears released her Hold It Against Me music video last week and surprised no one when it contained more product placements that choreography. The dance moves were so lacking and lackluster that the sad/ glassy-eyed Britney’s two-stepping had to be disguised with obnoxiously-fast editing. The entire introduction of the video was nothing but the [...]

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Justin Bieber Gets Haircut And World Gasps At His Astonishing Bravery

by Mof Gimmers

STOP THE PRESSES! Justin Bieber has had a haircut! Sweet blimmin’ crikey! Is he okay? Is everyone else feeling alright? Do foetuses even have enough hair to warrant an actual cutting of hair? So many questions. What prompted this outrageous, axis shifting decision? Is there a shadowy cartel forcing the 9 week old Bieber to [...]

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Top 10 Cops From TV And Film

by hecklerspray staff

While the police may kettle students now and then and generally stop us from doing fun stuff like joyriding Ferraris and running through the streets with no clothes on, for the main part, they’re a good bunch aren’t they? If it wasn’t for them, we’d probably all be dead or something. They also have really [...]

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Golly Gosh! A Lost Enid Blyton Book Has Been Discovered

by Matthew Laidlow

We might have confused some of you hip modern readers with the above headline. What the gubbins is this book thing we’re talking about? You may have heard about one of these strange objects but aren’t these strange creations just items that appear in museums and old fashioned buildings known as libraries? These days, traditional [...]

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Killzone 3 Says Shooting Stuff Is Cool

by Mof Gimmers

Do you like running around firing off endless rounds of deadly ammo in Arctic tundras, desolate landscapes, hugely lethal alien jungles, grim nuclear wastelands and the cold, dead air of space itself? Well, if you’re reading that and taking it literally, we suggest you hand yourself into the nearest psychiatric ward. However, if you thought: [...]

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TV Review: The Model Agency, Channel 4

by Mof Gimmers

Models aren’t beautiful. There’s this notion that they’re meant to be achingly attractive when the truth of the matter is that they’re coat-hangers with legs. They’re supposed to be invisible when wearing clothes so the garments do the talking. We only notice them when they hilariously fall over on catwalks, like ungainly foals tumbling down [...]

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Awesome or Off-Putting: Human-Eating Elephant Eats At Least One Human

by Shawn Lindseth

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable. When traveling through India, there are a few things we think we’d be afraid of. Tripping over the headset wires we’re pretty [...]

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Paris Hilton’s Absinthe Cake Is Stolen From Her Birthday Party As Earth Enters End-Game

by Mof Gimmers

Never let it be said that hecklerspray doesn’t bring you the really important, hard-hitting news. While every Tom, Dick and Harry tries their hand at overthrowing their government, Britain decides to close down libraries filled with the opportunity for self-improvement and betterment, the world stood still when the news broke of Paris Hilton’s birthday cake [...]

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