Gossip for grown-ups
Just so we're all clear, it's Khloe Kardashian who got married. Khloe Kardashian. Not the pregnant one. And not the other one, either. You know, the one with the bottom that looks like two vacuum-packed beachballs that have been stuffed with live fish and electrocuted. You know, the one who you've definitely seen having it off on the internet. Not her. It's Khloe Kardashian who's got married. The one who even the most ardent Kardashian connoisseurs call 'the other one'. No, Khloe Kardashian is the sensible one. After all, she's known her new husband for an entire month now.
Hey, did you see X Factor this weekend? You did? Good. Then you won't need a recap, will you? Because recapping X Factor's bootcamp stage is stupidity itself, really. The whole show is just hour after hour of two-second clips of dumpy people going "HUUUUUAGH!" on a stage followed by Cheryl Cole pulling a funny face. It's pointless. But then so are we, so we're going to do it anyway. Here are the X Factor acts who stood out for us this weekend, including Miss Frank, It Takez 2 and, oh heavens, John & Edward...
Hello kids, Stu here. Firstly, a bucket of thanks to good old Josh for looking after hecklerspray last week. Wasn't he wonderful? Secondly, allow me to briefly bang on about where I was last week. As you may have heard, Saturday was World Contraception Day 2009. And as you may have also heard, it's something I've been trying to help out with. So I've spent the last few days in Germany doing exactly that. And what a really sodding excellent cause it is. So after the jump you'll find an avalanche of World Contraception Day-related photos and videos and links. And if you love me you'll look...
Pounds and pence. Folded: Starting university (if you’re going you should have gone last week. Hope you’re enjoying yourselves) Sugababes split! (well one of them leaves and another joins, but it’s a start) Picnics (okay so it’s getting a bit cold now, but there is no better way to spend forty quid on food you have to make yourself. It’s rewarding or something) District 9 (just make sure you watch reading any reviews) White Lies (Rusko's Euphoria Mix) by Mr Hudson (damn near irresistible beat) Creased: The Love of Money: The Age of ...
Like rock, of a vintage kind, with balls out and great beer guts sticking out from faded tees, gathering up the crumbs dropped from big ol' beards? Then you need a word with Cincinnati's Buffalo Killers, who have peddling vintage groove laden rockin' fuzz psych spectacular under the radar for some years. They've been gaining admiring glances from support slots with The Black Crowes, who clearly seethe with jealousy at a band able to rock harder, louder and with more funk than anyone else in the battlefield. This is real shit-kicker rock to knock your spots clean off.
There is a book coming out called The Michael Jackson Tapes, and it looks set to send a few jaws hurtling towards the floor, then shattering, whilst eyes pop out on stalks, then go back in again. Kind of like in cartoons. Because, in the book, the crazy melty-clownface, during an interview with a learned Oxford University rabbi, thought he'd explain his admiration for Adolf Hitler, list a few women he could probably have done it with had he felt like it, and, at one point, he thought it would be wise to give a pair of child murderers a great big hug. Oh dear, Michael. Oh dear. It was all going so well, with the new single coming out, then the film of the build up to his big comeback tour. But now, it looks like a big turd is about to be smudged on the Jackson memories.
For anyone who hasn't seen the original 1980 version of Fame, it's not exactly what you'd expect. Because you were expecting a grinning mob of leotard whores prancing around, squealing "feel the music!" to one another, whilst occasionally breaking rank to march silently towards a mirror, caressing their bodies, growling like tigers, weren't you? Weren't you? Go on, admit it. You were. And, for the most part, you'd be right. But, the original film was so much more than that. It was bleak. It was brilliant. And the new one, apparently, is a big sack of turds. So says the Boston Herald and LA Times anyway, and they've SEEN it. In the first outing, a cross section of New York "talent" is thrown together in a strict school for special people, who like singing, dancing and acting. The kids sometimes take time to play a cello in the canteen, or dash into the streets because a man in a taxi left his stereo on, and it's playing loud music.
