Charlie Sheen’s Children Can’t Process His Life Of Winning And Tiger Blood

by Mof Gimmers

Should we all continue to encourage Charlie Sheen to party his way into an early grave? It is becoming apparently that Sheen is reading online opinions of his antics and now enjoying the smell of his own farts a bit too much. It was kinda funny watching Sheen strip away his Earthly dignity to reveal [...]

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Lindsay Lohan To Get Her Boobs Out For James Franco To Show How She’s Not Mental Anymore

by Mof Gimmers

Lindsay Lohan has the right idea when it comes to showing the world you’ve healed your broken mind. Basically, she wants to show us all that she’s grown as a person and is more spiritually enriched by getting her boobies out for us all to perv over. Isn’t that incredibly kind of her? There’s been [...]

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Katie Holmes Sues Magazine For Telling Slightly More Lies Than Usual

by Amy Grindhouse

Katie Holmes is suing mad over Star Magazine telling filthy, filthy lies about her alleged drug addiction. That addiction, you know. The one where she’s addicted to Charlie Sheen, or something. We’re pretty sure at least one person in this story’s addicted to Charlie Sheen. The actress has filed a libel lawsuit in federal court [...]

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Spice Girls Fight Over Unreleased Material (Cut Your Ears Off As A Precaution)

by Mof Gimmers

Remember the Spice Girls? Of course you do! They had roughly three half decent pop songs, with the rest being derivative, throwaway trash. Each member had their own unique personality trait foisted upon them, which of course, slowly dissolved to reveal personalities often far uglier. There was Scary Spice, who became Vaguely Controlling, Eddie Murphy [...]

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Zellweger To Play Bridget Again If She Doesn’t Have To Get Fat

by Joanna Bolouri

When ‘Bridget Jones’s Diary’ first came out, women all over the world shouted muffled ”hurrah” sounds from their pie-filled gobs, while patting their little round bellies and thanking Hollywood for making a decent film about  a ‘normal’ woman who ate stuff and wanted a boyfriend, regardless of how dull he was. Then they made the hideous ’Bridget Jones- The Edge [...]

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Brian McFadden’s New Song Isn’t Meant To Be Quite So Rapey Apparently

by Mof Gimmers

We shared the astonishing new record from Brian McFadden over on our twitter account recently, which was rightly met by our readers with a mixture of horror and delighted bemusement. One word continually cropped up – ‘rape’. Now, that isn’t a word that people normally associate with pop records (unless you’re talking about ‘Sweat (A [...]

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Christina Aguilera Is Arrested For Being Horrendously Drunk

by Mof Gimmers

Christina Aguilera hasn’t been having a fun time of late. For a kick off, she’s been in the film Burlesque, which was not exactly well received (it’ll be a future classic, like Showgirls, but for now, we’re all too busy sneering). Then, there was the whole ‘Oops! Someone hacked me and leaked those grotty looking [...]

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Charlie Sheen Calls Hugh Hefner An Amateur And Talks Of Golden Sombrero And Polygamy

by Mof Gimmers

Charlie Sheen is making it increasingly difficult for hecklerspray to write jokes. Now, you’d think that, the more he opens his mouth, the more opportunity we’d have to poke fun at him. Alas, the truth is, Sheen is now transcending jokes themselves. He’s beyond farce. As such, we’re now more than willing to just let [...]

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Popstars Stare Nervously At Piles Of Money From Colonel Gaddafi

by Mof Gimmers

Imagine playing a gig at the behest of Colonel ‘Do You Think He Might Have Had A Butcher Perform The Plastic Surgery On His Face?’ Gaddafi. His sons want a nice party with an internationally successful singer performing in the corner like a circus clown. “Hi Supreme Thingy Gaddafi! Great place you got here! What [...]

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Tim Burton To Remake Hunchback of Notre Dame (Johnny Depp And Helena Bonham Carter Clear Their Diaries)

by Mof Gimmers

Tim Burton! He’s kooky isn’t he? He’s probably got stuffed animals in his house! And rugs that smell like goths. And loads of hairspray for his sticky-up haircut. And Helena Bonham Carter. He’s got one of them. Sadly for our Tim, he looks like a hybrid of ukulele loving Tiny Tim and Tim Curry. Isn’t [...]

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