Single Review: Milk Kan, ‘Bling Bling Baby’

by 586 MEDIA

A cheeky little shuffling intro and Scrappy Hood’s opening lines, then the bass and drums drop in like a big boot up the arse and it’s impossible not to start tapping your toes. Milk Kan’s debut single Bling Bling Baby has already had radio play and big-ups from Steve Lamacq, Chris Moyles and Jonathan Ross [...]

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Rubbish Cars We Love: Ford Probe – The Salesman’s Coupe

by Chris Laverty

Naffer than baggy tapered trousers and so embarrassing other drivers will only let you out of side roads to laugh at you – the Ford Probe, everybody. Give it a chance. Historically: Following its 1994 release in the UK, Ford were pushing the Probe as a natural successor to the Capri. Conceived as a joint [...]

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Matt Damon Gets A Woman To Have His Baby

by Stuart Heritage

Matt Damon may be a more successful film actor than Ben Affleck, but Ben Affleck is much better at getting married and having a baby than Matt Damon. Until now, that is. Matt Damon reportedly has a baby on the way, and it is currently growing inside his fiance Luciana Barroso. Let’s hope that Matt [...]

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Kate Moss Makes ‘Comeback’

by C J Davies

Walking talent-void Kate Moss – a godforsaken marriage twixt woman and stick-insect – has launched her ‘comeback’ after her drug-snorting shame was exposed by a major tabloid paper. Moss – a woman so staggeringly useless she makes on-off junkie boyfriend Pete Doherty look like the most vital cultural figure alive – is to have a [...]

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Winnie The Pooh Gets A Gangsta Revamp

by Stuart Heritage

When you think of Winnie The Pooh, what do you think of? Pooh-sticks? Yes. Gentle, pastoral stories about making friends? Yes. An uncanny resemblance to ancient Chinese Taoism? Shut up, hippy. Winnie The Pooh stories are all about Christopher Robin, a boy who has a special little bear chum called Winnie The Pooh who he [...]

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Britney Spears And Kevin Federline – Split? Back Together? Anyone?

by Stuart Heritage

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are having a rough time of it lately – their marriage in apparently in such trouble that all Britney and Kevin seem to do is split up and get back together again. Which leaves them with literally no time to do the things that they love. In the case of [...]

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SLACKERJACK – Jennifer Aniston Rumour Maker

by 586 MEDIA

Everyone knows that a sneaky paparazzi recently took a bunch of sneaky pictures of Jennifer Aniston topless. That’s not a rumour – that’s a stone cold fact. But Jennifer Aniston should get used to being a rumour target – she’s going to star in a forthcoming movie with Kevin Costner called Rumour Has It. And [...]

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Wayne Rooney – Lettuce Eating Worm

by 586 MEDIA

All of the millions of people who sit up night after night scratching their heads thinking about what Wayne Rooney’s favourite food is need ponder no more – it’s lettuce, as exclusively revealed by his rent-a-gob girlfriend Coleen McLoughlin. Coleen, 19, uncovers, all this and more about the kerazee, zany life she shares with the [...]

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Angelina Jolie Sees Self In Fan’s Mystical Buttocks

by Shawn Lindseth

On Monday, Angelina Jolie chose to take the time out to take a picture with a fan. After which the fan reportedly turned around and dropped her drawers, completely exposing her fuzzy buttocks.  Angelina Jolie seemed a bit embarrassed by the whole thing, but – after likely waving off the gaseous haze and taking a [...]

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Christmas Number One Betting Odds – Chico, McFly, Katie Melua…

by Stuart Heritage

Here we go again with another dollop of UK 2005 Christmas Number One betting odds – all the information you’ll need on who to bet on with stolen Christmas Club money, just like naughty Arthur Fowler off Eastenders. Christmas Number One Fact Of The Day: A member of one of the acts who have had [...]

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