SLACKERJACK – Evil Elves 2

by 586 MEDIA

Elves, as you already know, are evil. All elves. Sometimes we pelt toddlers with handfuls of gravel because we think they’re evil elves. But that’s not the way you should go about things, as today’s Slackerjack shows. Today’s Slackerjack is Evil Elves 2 – a game where you get to teach those pesky (and evil) [...]

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Watch A Clip From The Business DVD

by 586 MEDIA

Amidst all the terrible Hollywood films that came out this year was The Business – possibly the second best film about cockney gangsters in a hot country ever made (after Sexy Beast, obviously). Once you’ve got over the novelty of watching a bunch of 1980s cockneys walking around a villa going "Fack! FACK! Fack! Fack [...]

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Bono Spends Thousands On Transporting Hat

by C J Davies

U2 frontman Bono has a lot on his mind. He’s so goshdarn busy – what with trying to save the world and singing formulaic songs in iPod adverts – that he occasionally puts his hat down and forgets to take it with him when he leaves. "But wait," we hear you cry, "how will Bono [...]

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2006 Music Betting Odds – Jacko, Cliff, Big Brother

by Stuart Heritage

Here we are at the arse-end of 2005, and what have we got to look forward to in 2006? More of the same relentless drudgery combined with a growing sense of your own mortality, that’s what. But – hey – apart from that, things are looking up! Why? Because we’ve got a brand new set [...]

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Christmas Number One Betting Odds – Wednesday’s Odds

by Stuart Heritage

Today is probably the most pivotal day of the year in the race to become UK 2005 Christmas Number One – it’s the day that X Factor winner Shayne Ward releases That’s My Goal. Until today, the Christmas Number One hunt had been mainly made up of a man pretending to be a baby singing [...]

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Boy George Court Case Held Up

by Stuart Heritage

Those of you eager to see Boy George holding court in the Celebrity Big Brother house can get a little bit excited – the Boy George cocaine court case has been postponed until February. What was the reason that Boy George’s court case has been pushed back? So he could "work on literary and recording [...]

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DVR Saves Television From The Very Bowels Of Hell!

by Shawn Lindseth

Long has the Nielsen ratings box wickedly dominated television’s every season lineup. For decades now it’s mercilessly hacked fledgling TV shows to blood riddled bits for no reason what-so-ever.  Except that they were under performing. King Nielsen’s evil reign may have it’s end in sight. Or have it’s evil reign joined by digital video recorders [...]

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Rolf Harris Paints The Queen Like A Butcher

by Stuart Heritage

Rolf Harris, the elderly Australian entertainer with the catchphrase "WHY? Why did it have to DIE?" more famous for making funny noises by slapping his face, has painted the Queen. Rolf Harris didn’t actually paint the Queen – he didn’t go and rub a sloppy roller all over her stern monarch face. Rolf painted a [...]

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Arrest Warrant For Kiddie-Punching Reese Witherspoon Snapper

by Stuart Heritage

Some snappers do harmless things like hiding in a bush a mile away from Jennifer Aniston’s house and taking pictures of her boobies. But some snappers are a bit more nasty. Like the photographer who tried to take a picture of Reese Witherspoon at Disney’s California Adventure in September, but ended up allegedly punching a [...]

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Britney Sues Mag – There’s No Britney Spears Sex Tape

by Stuart Heritage

Picture in your mind what Britney Spears and Kevin Federline look like when they are having sex. Britney’s doing that hip-thrust thing, maybe Kevin has especially composed an erotic rap. All very sexy. Or not. Earlier in the year, US Weekly magazine published a story about a leaked Britney Spears sex tape which was so [...]

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