Everyone In Lost Named Entertainer Of The Year

by Stuart Heritage

Entertainment Weekly has named its list of people that have entertained us the most over the last year, and the winner of Entertainer Of The Year has been named as… the entire cast of Lost. That’s right – everyone in Lost is the best entertainer of the year. Everyone. Even that screaming Australian girl. Yeah, [...]

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Jessica Simpson The New Bond Girl?

by Stuart Heritage

Scarlett, Angelina and Charlize have now all turned down the chance to be the new Bond Girl. So the Bond producers are trying something new: forget getting a good actress – they want Jessica Simpson. At first, Jessica Simpson as a Bond Girl sounds like terrible news, but let’s look on the bright side. Jessica [...]

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Paris Hilton Conquers Evil

by Shawn Lindseth

Greek-loving, best friend cut-offing, one time goat-owning, rich dad-having, death threat-defying Hollywood socialite Paris Hilton is a part time defender of all that is just and true. Or so we’re told. She’s just like a less chaste version of famed/maybe not-so-famed literary boy detective Encyclopedia Brown, all problem solving and whatnot. Greek-loving, best friend cut-offing, [...]

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Harry Potter Saves The Children

by Stuart Heritage

Harry Potter has been accused of many things – like distorting Christianity, turning children onto witchcraft and generally being a bit dull – but it turns out that Harry Potter can save children’s lives. Kind of. Doctors at John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford noticed that the number of children admitted to casualty each time a [...]

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SLACKERJACK – Reindeer Training School

by 586 MEDIA

One of the weirdest Christmas lies – apart from the lie about you getting an Xbox 360 for Christmas (not a chance, buddy) – is the lie about reindeers being able to fly. Seriously. A man who is quite obviously larger than a chimney being able to squeeze himself up and down every chimney on [...]

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Hecklerspray Christmas Survival Tips

by C J Davies

In case you hadn’t noticed, it’s Christmas. In a show of staggeringly wonderful public service, hecklerspray has taken a brief break from our usual routine – going to gigs, watching movies and laughing at crap celebrities – in order to provide you lucky people with our Expert Christmas Survival Tips. Simply follow our simple guidelines [...]

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2006 Music Betting Odds – Eastenders, Coronation Street, Neighbours…

by Stuart Heritage

There are several dreadful things that could happen 2006 – war, genocide, famine – but surely nothing could compare to the awfulness of a soap actor or actress having a number one single. There’s something that compels people in soap operas to sing, to show the world that there’s more to them than playing a [...]

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Paris Hilton Shuns Reputation, Buys Some Dogs

by Stuart Heritage

Of all the celebrities you can think of, Paris Hilton is the worst at looking after dogs. This isn’t opinion – it’s fact, according to readers of American dog-related magazines. But Paris Hilton doesn’t care. Paris Hilton is Rock And Roll. If someone tells Paris Hilton that she’s rubbish at being a dog owner, Paris [...]

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Notorious B.I.G Duets Party Goes Bangy Bang Stabby Stab

by Stuart Heritage

Notorious B.I.G has been dead for eight years, but that hasn’t stopped trouble from blowing up wherever his name is mentioned. Something as genteel as a Notorious B.I.G album launch party ended in mayhem early on Wednesday morning, with three people getting stabbed and another three getting shot. This is disorder on a scale we [...]

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Sugababes Show Off Mutya Replacement

by Stuart Heritage

Only yesterday, The Sugababes announced that Mutya Buena had left the group after seven beautiful years of looking all grumpy in photos and mumbling answers in interviews. It took all of a day to find a replacement for Mutya. And the brand new Sugababe – Amelle Berrabah – seems to fit the Sugababes bill perfectly: [...]

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