by Stuart Heritage
Parents of young children: if your child ever asks you to take them to Disneyland and you don’t want to, show them this here 3D Mickey Mouse animation and they’ll never mention Disney again. That’s probably because this 3D Mickey Mouse animation is so nightmarish that they’ll be permanently struck mute, but what’s wrong with that?
Flagged up by Log – friend of the ‘Spray and co-creator of the illegally funny list of the first 100 Crow films – this horrific 3D computer animation has ensured that we’ll never go to bed with the lights off ever again so long as we life, for fear that a woefully deformed Mickey Mouse will lurch into our room and stand over our sleeping bodies, all the time randomly pacing backwards and forwards and silently babbling like a disturbing toothless old mouse tramp. Without going into details, during this Mickey Mouse animation you will see:
* Mickey Mouse in a park dropping his balloon and having an autistic panic attack because a statue starts dancing and screeching like a frightening witch
* Mickey Mouse body-popping to some east European folk music with two equally deformed monkeys
* Mickey Mouse doing a series of halfhearted karate moves while a man randomly blurts out wordless screams in the background, followed by Mickey Mouse jumping in the air four and a half times
* Mickey Mouse trying to tiptoe past a giant cat with an unfortunate haircut that’s sitting on a tiny horse
* Mickey Mouse dressed as Superman twirling around before an uncaring astronaut who appears to be making the sound of an aeroplane
* Mickey Mouse balancing on a UFO for 12 seconds.
* And all sorts of other skincrawling scenarios…
Read more >>>
by Stuart Heritage
We’ve never been gladder to see a Friday roll around – it means that after today we won’t have to do any more of these godawful Any Dream Will Do betting odds, and not a moment too soon.
Next week we’re going to start on some preemptive Big Brother betting odds. Yes, we’ll be basically offering betting odds on a show that hasn’t even started yet – but after looking at a show as useless as Any Dream Will Do, we’ve decided that running betting odds on how many shards of frozen animal turd we can jab into our eyes in 60 seconds would be better than looking at Any Dream Will Do for even a second longer than we have to. We don’t even care who wins Any Dream Will Do – we’re just pleased we won’t have to think about any more. Apart from this next bit, obviously.
Here are the Any Dream Will Do betting odds for Keith Jack and Lee Mead, with help from Paddy Power…
More…
Read more >>>