Gossip for grown-ups
How much you you think that Big Brother house next door cost to build? However much it was, it was too much - the whole thing was rumbled in seconds and all we got out of it was five more witless Big Brother housemates. The whole Big Brother house next door task stumbled to a conclusion last night, leaving everyone involved at least attempting to feign surprise about what had been going on all along, except for Aisleyne who just sobbed even more uncontrollably than if someone told her that she wasn't black. Now, let's never speak of the Big Brother house next door again - we'd be surprised if Big Brother ever does. Far more interesting is speculating about who's going to get evicted from the Big Brother house tomorrow, and we've got the latest Big Brother betting odds for the eviction of Lea and Richard, with betting odds coming from PaddyPower.com...
We've never been able to get our heads around honourary degrees. A university gives a famous person a bit of paper with a degree on it, even though it's not exactly going to help them get a job, and they don't have to cripple themselves with debt and cheap booze to get it. Yesterday, the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama awarded three honourary degrees to three of Scotland's biggest stars; Annie Lennox now has a BA (hons) in Doing The Soundtrack To A Rubbish Demi Moore Film, Billy Connolly has a BA (hons) in Telling One Funny Joke On Parkinson In The 1970s Then Making A Bunch Of Shit Films and Tilda Swinton has a BSC in Making It Winter For 100 Years And Never Christmas.
The level of unacceptable sexual harassment varies from country to country. In England, not holding a door open for a female is tantamount to rape and is punishable by 15 years in prison, while we hear the Greeks are free to openly masturbate in libraries. Australia, though, has its own rules on sexual harassment, as the recent fuss about two male Big Brother housemates holding a female housemate down and rubbing one of their crotches in her face has shown. But, after a full and frank investigation into the apparent Big Brother sexual attack, the Australian communications watchdog has cleared Big Brother of breaching any broadcasting regulations. In its defence, the watchdog referred to the top-rated Australian TV drama - Stick This In Your Face You Flaming Galah -as an example.
Hollywood's all about the networking, isn't it? And you can never starting building a list of contacts to schmooze with early enough, as Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt and Kingston James McGregor Rossdale are finding out. Because, despite only being four weeks old, only being able to focus on things about 10 inches away from them and only being properly alert for about a tenth of the time, Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt and Kingston James McGregor Rossdale have met for the first time, thanks to their celebrity parents Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale. What Shiloh Nouvel and Kingston James talked about was unclear, but we'd expect that it was the first stage of touching base with regards to a future collaboration. Well, either that or they didn't discuss anything at all, since they're only pissing babies and haven't even learned to display any form of understandable emotion yet.
Ever gone to the supermarket and bought a big bag of Doritos, ripping them open and gorging your face with fistfuls of cheesy-corn goodness? And then realised - about two-thirds of the way through - that you're actually feeling a)bored, b) sick and c) more than a little cheated? In the future this will be called Lost Syndrome. After a whole series of expectation-raising - you know, the same way that millions of kids are being conned into getting a university education because they actually believe a degree in Cross-Racial Media Representation will help them get ahead somehow - Lost has now entered a wholly redundant second series in which we are supposed to be utterly enthralled whenever anyone raises the possibility of NOT PRESSING A PISSING BUTTON. Oh - and if those '118' runners continue to pull their funny smug faces before the every-six-seconds commercial breaks, thereby negating any vestige of 'drama' left within the programme whatsoever, hecklerspray officially takes no responsibility if the two moustachioed gentleman are found bludgeoned to death with a pair of cheap market-stall Nikes. Not that the world agrees, however. For - like STDs and Islamist Fundamentalism - the popularity of Lost is forever on the increase. So much so that they're thinking of making a goshdarn movie about it.
It's OK, everyone relax - Daniel Craig is actually going to be one of the best James Bond actors ever. This must be true because someone who's been paid to be his co-star in Casino Royale has said so. Caterina Murino, who'll play the woman who James Bond has it off with for a bit in Casino Royale, has called Daniel Craig "a great actor," "sexy" and "a stupid blond scouser who looks about as threatening as a damp flannel who'll be slightly less convincing as James Bond than Pocoyo would be." One of those is a lie, and we're not going to tell you which.
Let's get the facts out of the way first - although Snowy Puzzle Islands looks like a kid's game, it's actually so hard it makes us want to cry. In Snowy Puzzle Islands, you play some kind of cute polar bear thing, who has to walk around a bunch of squares trying to find a way to get to a block of ice so that he can do a little jig, spin around and vanish. Now that sounds easy, but it really isn't - after a few levels of Snowy Puzzle Islands, ...
Ladies and gentlemen, we think we've just seen the best music video we'll see all year* - Fire Eye'd Boy by Broken Social Scene. And we like the Broken Social Scene Fire Eye'd Boy video so much we're letting you watch it too. Broken Social Scene are already reversing all the ill will that the planet had against bad Canadian music like Bryan Adams and Nickleback, and their last self-titled album has been winning over doubters with every play. But the Fire Eye'd Boy video is the Broken Social Scene ...
