Charlie Sheen To Pocket £6m For Bothering Us All On Big Brother And Become The New Barrymore

by Mof Gimmers

Big Brother has always split the UK into two camps: Those that don’t like it and those that don’t watch it. And now that (Channel) Five have gone and bought it, many of us will wearily switch on our sets just to get angry for an hour every night. And like the Big Brothers that [...]

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Miley Cyrus Likes The Gays Way More Than You

by Mof Gimmers

Do you like gay people? Perhaps you’re a gay person yourself? Doesn’t matter one jot. That’s because Miley Cyrus likes gay people more than anyone else, ever. How do we know this? Because she’s got a tattoo. As well you know, young people get tattoos about the things they feel strongly passionate about… the things [...]

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Hugh Hefner Keen To Point At His Own Crotch And Shout ‘I Use It All The Time And Not Just For Doing A Toilet’

by Mof Gimmers

Hugh Hefner is not a happy man. Is it because he sincerely thought Crystal Harris was his true love and there was genuine shock and misery at her jilting him at the altar, before going on to say nasty things about his prowess in the bedroom? Or is it because his male pride is taking [...]

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Angelina Jolie Receives Award For Her Firm Grasp Of Reality. Seriously…WHAT?!

by Paul Pencott

In further evidence that the world has entirely lost it’s mind, the actress Angelina Jolie – who plays make-believe for a living – was last night awarded the Heart of Sarajevo purportedly for her “active engagement in the complexities of the real world”. As the Cyborg 2 star tearfully accepted the award, the rest of [...]

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The Peter Andre Guide To Wooing

by Justrestingmyeyes

Hey everyone, you massive pile of galahs! Pandre Peter Pandre Andre here, and I’ve been given just enough time by the scummy hoardes at hecklerspray to give something back to you, the people. That’s what I’m all about now. Giving something back. You may have seen my new show on ITV2, that I don’t like [...]

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Soap Spoilers! It’s All Fun And Games Until Someone Loses A Parrot.

by Joanna Bolouri

We don’t know about you but it’s been quite a week here at hecklerspray since we last gave you something to live for. Our editor Mof, finally found out that fellow writer and massive Steps fan Michael Park is really his son after a one night stand with someone he thought was Kerry Katona but [...]

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Big Brother 2011 Trailer Released Featuring Ex-Housemates, Murderers And H From Steps Who Was Definitely Never In Big Brother Anyway

by Sophie Hall

It’s not fair. The prospect of Channel 5’s Big Brother is now becoming dangerously real, and here is the most concrete proof of what is set to be a terrible, terrible Autumn. Any means of escape is effectively now void. If you try and turn the channel over, all you will find is a botched [...]

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Creased Or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You The Way It Is

by Michael Park

Reason or Rhyme? Folded The Tripoli Grand Prix 1937 – It’s cooler than all of us. Arrested Development – Yes, the film is happening. Captain America – It might not be totally awful! Great! The whole Northern Quarter of Manchester will be delighted. Matthew Kelly – He’s revealed his six favourite books to The Express. [...]

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HecklerPlay: Pointless Reissues

by Matthew Laidlow

Want a sure-fire recipe to guarantee some sort of success in the music industry that’ll give you a life built on fine restaurants, Japanese stalkers and quality drugs? Who the hell doesn’t? Sadly, these days you only seem to sell huge amounts of records when you’re dead. At least less success means that members of [...]

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Odd Future’s Tyler Laughs At Peter Andre And Wants To Punch Bruno Mars… Which Is Completely Fair

by Mof Gimmers

Odd Future are the hottest ticket in town at the moment, packing out shows and bombing off the stage like they’re The Stooges and creating a buzz in hip hop not seen since the Wu Tang Clan started taking names and numbers. But what are they like behind all the horror and gore of their [...]

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