Lindsay Lohan: Hit And Run, Police Involvement And Hurray She’s Back!

by Mof Gimmers

Jewel thief. Drunk. Druggie. Violent. Broken. Ankle tagged. Rehabber. Oh, and actress. Lindsay Lohan has had a colourful life hasn’t she? Then, she looked like she was going to straighten-up and go all Christian.

0 comments Read more >>>

Boards Of Canada Say They’re Making A New Album In As Few Words As Possible

by Mof Gimmers

Hey geeds! You like Boards of Canada right? You can’t ever adequately tell anyone quite why because they’re really samey and much copied and not especially catchy… but… they’re made of magic aren’t they? And they’re all secretive, reclusive and cultish, right?

0 comments Read more >>>

The Apprentice Returns With A Cast Of Socially Retarded Business Enthusiasts

by Matthew Laidlow

Think of big businesses and most people will be drawn to images of fat cat bankers rubbing their genitals with £50 notes and generally having a better time than anyone. Hated by society, there is at least one teddy bear like businessmen we all wish was giving us financial advice.

0 comments Read more >>>

Hecklerscopes: 13 March 2012

by Robin Darke

Isn’t it funny when people hold the strangest things as a bastion of superstition? Like rabbit’s feet, for instance. Who carries around the severed paw of a dead animal as a sign of good luck? It clearly hasn’t done the rabbit any good, and he had four. Or she. We don’t discriminate here at hecklerspray. We have an equal level of dismay for all colours, genders and sexualities. You all are generally awful.

0 comments Read more >>>

Joan Collins Wants To Burn Your Jeans

by Mof Gimmers

Joan Collins, a woman who has traded on looking like a glamorous ghost for the past 20 years, not to mention being the campest of all bitchy gay men, is opening her mouth again and spouting advice.

0 comments Read more >>>

Katy Perry To Write Tell-All Booky Wook About Russell Brand?

by Mof Gimmers

Russell Brand and Katy Perry’s marriage was a surprise to everyone. He, the infantile Victorian magician with a Morrissey obsession and she, the Carry On popstar with a puntacular career and a long face.

1 comment Read more >>>

Donald Trump Jr Slices Elephant Up To Compensate For Small Penis

by Mof Gimmers

Shocking, shocking news! The spoiled son of an already dislikeable multi-millionaire has gone to a foreign land and done something that most people will find rather unpleasant. Is this what we’ve become? A world of wealthy people acting like berks? Bring on the Trumps.

2 comments Read more >>>

Kim Kardashian Doesn’t Like Being Called An Idiot

by Matthew Laidlow

If you did nothing but lounge around all day and just sit in your pants eating Space Raiders and drinking Tango, what would people think? They certainly wouldn’t be jealous of your luxury lifestyle; instead they’d be calling you all sorts of rude and nasty names.

1 comment Read more >>>

Jason Donovan Gets TV Work: A Guide To Donovitis

by Robin Darke

It’s time to invest heavily in padded panty liners and cod liver oil tablets because Jason Donovan has just been announced as one of the new judges set to fill Andrew Lloyd Webber’s new talent search show. Tentatively entitled Superstar because it looks for the leads in Lloyd Webber’s newest obsession; trying to make money from Jesus.

1 comment Read more >>>

Skins Review: Hark! A Vagrant!

by Lauren Mullineaux

“Fresh Meat is coming up in an hour,” are our most dreaded words, not because we’d rather crawl into an oven than watch anything where Jack Whitehall plays Jack Whitehall, but because they mean Skins is on for the next sixty minutes.

0 comments Read more >>>

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →