There really isn't a more enjoyable way of wasting your leisure time than playing video games.

Oh – apart from climbing naked into a box and mailing yourself to Fearne Cotton's house as a surprise present. But we promised the nice judge we wouldn't talk about that anymore. Or try it again. Ever.

Still – video games, eh? They're titting well brilliant. From the ultra-realistic first-person action of Halo 3 to the upcoming, no doubt addictive-as-breathing next instalment in the Grand Theft Auto franchise, console games are becoming more and more immersive and breathtaking all the time.

Which makes Namco's latest release seem a little bit … well … redundant.

Pac-Man, anyone?

That's right: Pac-Man. The little yellow bloke who spent the entire 1980s trapped in a surrealist maze, subject to various forms of attack from marauding supernatural beings. Apparently some bright spark thought it would be a good idea to relaunch the character for the shiny new XBox 360 – a move akin to ripping up your ticket to see Transformers (2007) and going instead to catch a quick screening of the Lumiere Brothers' Train Arriving At Station (1895).

Wait a minute, though. Perhaps hecklerspray has been a little too hasty with our criticism. We've done it before, you know; roundabout the time we took those Blair Witch makers aside and said 'come on, guys! It looks like shit and hasn't even got an ending. Who's going to pay to see that?' 

Apparently the new Pac-Man game:

…includes new mazes that dynamically change shape during gameplay, six new timed game modes, new soundtracks and high-definition (HD) graphics.

Hmm. Sounds interesting. Entirely pointless, yes, but interesting nonetheless. In fact, if you're interested – and we assume you are, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this and would be off looking at porn instead – hecklerspray has cobbled together a few other predictions for the new Pac-Man meisterwork:

- Pac-Man now divorced from that uppity wife of his

- All 'Power Pills' to be sponsored by Pro Plus

- Pac-Man will frequently spout up-to-date youth-friendly dialogue, such as 'fripptastic', 'totally kitchen' and 'rinse my forehead and call me Charlie'

- Unlike the ignorant days of the early 1980s, Pac-Man will now be fully aware of the AIDS crisis

-  Franchise tie-in will see Pac-Man teaming up with Sonic The Hedgehog, Dizzy The Egg and that cruelly-disfigured stick person who used to swing on ropes in Pitfall

- Pac-Man to evolve eyes, lungs, opposable thumbs, and a quite-frankly staggering 13 inch penis

Read More:

First New Pac-Man Mazes Unveiled In New York – BreakingNews