Owen Wilson Vs. The Dalai Lama

Stick_em_upFilm-based funnyman Owen Wilson (DVDs) has provided us all with a welcome respite from the usual rounds of pseudo-spiritual Hollywood claptrap – hello there, Mr. Cruise – by denouncing the Dalai Lama as a "corny purveyor of goofball ideas".

Initiating himself as hecklerspray‘s hero of the week (a new feature that may or may not actually exist) Wilson admitted that he only went to see the pompous holyman speak because he wanted to "impress a girl".

While the raptured, wide-eyed crowd sat gaping at the mystical mumbo-jumbo spewing forth – presumably switching off the part of their brains marked ‘Science GCSE’ – Wilson remained staunchly unimpressed by the whole shebang.

"Somebody asked, ‘What’s the answer to world hunger?”‘ Wilson explained. "And his answer was like, ‘Sharing!’ And everyone oohed and aahed like he’d just solved the problem."

 Apparently the David-Brent-in-a-robe antics didn’t end there: "Somebody else asked, ‘What’s the solution to racism?’ And he came back with, ‘We all have the same colour of blood,’ and everybody was swooning."

Wilson confessed to being left cold by the whole experience, having no idea what "the big deal" was all about. hecklerspray happens to share this view, having once been stopped in the street by some sort of ‘guru’ who shared the revelation that the problem with the human race is we’re all "thinking too much".

Yes, that’s right. We really must stop that pesky thinking, mustn’t we?

[story by C J Davies]


  1. alex P says

    the Dalai Lama is not and has never come across as pompous.
    all owen wilson did was cement his status as a certified jackass. he admits to it in the first sentence : he wanted to “impress a girl”.
    to bad he can’t seperate his on screen persona from his real life persona. or perhaps he has no real life persona as evidence by his useless comments…

  2. says

    One could only wish that all people on the world stage were as “pompous” as the dalai lama.

    And his “simple” answers are proof that he really understands the problem … just as a great basketball player can make shooting a 3 point shot look simple, so too can a truly wise man make the solutions to life’s problems simple …

    As for mr. wilson, he definitely has a lot of growing up to do … anyone who’s doing something he does not really want to do just to impress a girl surely is not a path where there are any solutions … but maybe that’s why he makes his living acting (he does not have to be intelligent enough to come up with his own answers).

  3. Neferlotus says

    One word or one sentence is not going to solve a problem. “Sharing” is not a proper answer. Sharing will not help with more rain or better crops. Therefore, the answer “sharing” becomes quite inane.

    The solution to racism has nothing to do with the colour of our blood. Racism will be around for a long time. It is virtually impossible for that problem to disappear. You can’t change how millions of people feel about another race.
    The Dalai Lama didn’t give proper answers and that is it. Anyone could have given those answers that he gave.

    Owen Wilson is entitled to his own opinion and at least he doesn’t hide his thoughts, lying to people.
    He doesn’t need to grow up like ES says he does. Owen Wilson is intelligent and earns a good living. He is quite successful in what he does.
    Perhaps ES should mature a bit.

  4. Alex P says

    ES is right on the money. anyone that knows anything about the Dalai Lama knows he never claims to be anything other than a simple monk, and now lately he adds “old” monk.
    the answers to our problems are actually very simple and a truly wise man sees this. anyone can give these answers, yes, but whos doing anything about it? owen wilson? no. and yes he is entitled to his own opinion but then back it up. he messed up because he didnt want to be there in the first place. all little owen wanted to do was impress a girl.
    narcisism is the real problem here.
    do some research on the Dalai Lama and you’ll see he is the sanest human being on the planet….

  5. dantec says

    Neferlotus, you seem a bit flustered by the answers of a simple Buddhist monk. Remember that there is a difference between an answer and a solution. I think if you asked His Holiness for the latter, he would freely admit he has neither the experience or authority to offer such.

  6. R. Gere says

    This is the first thing that Own Wilson has said that makes any sense. The Dalai Lama is a puffed out egomaniac, but most Americans think he’s this humble man in broadcloth. Open your eyes. He’s the most powerful man in Tibet. That might not seem much to you, but think about how much time he spends there. He has as much power and riches at his feet as the pope, and he gets laid a hell of a lot more, or he would if he weren’t so shriveled up.

    Don’t be so naive, America. Do you have to go have an audience with this lama to prove the cynicism and moral bankruptcy of this poseur to yourselves? That’s why religion rules your lives, doomed suckers.