It is a little known fact that Roy Orbison had a very rare tooth condition called toothitis. It's such a rare thing you couldn't even find it in Web MD – we tried for literally an hour. We tried for almost an hour. It was about ten minutes.

Orbison's teeth kept falling out and getting replaced every six months or so. During his lifetime he had dozens of sets, each eventually becoming loose and falling from his gums. You didn't know that did you? That's because you don't know Lou. He's the one that informed us, and has since been kind enough to sell us over two dozen of those tooth-sets for an average of $900 a piece. We paid less for the ones that looked sharp and bamboo-worn.

Stuff like Orbison's billions of teeth – well that's just celebrity memorabilia. It's a billions of dollars a-year industry for those lucky enough to be in a position to sell such things. Sometimes though, you get a piece of celebrity for free. Owen Wilson's used underpants, for instance, were recently abandoned by the man himself in a very large, successful & wonderful upscale clothing store in Maui.

Did we mention they were dirty?

The good news is Owen Wilson is now doing well enough to dress himself at least once a day. Any more than that and you risk him forgetting to stick his legs through his skivvies, if you catch our drift. So it was in a Maui clothing shop recently where ol' hawk-nose went to dress up in pants.

He stepped into the dressing room with his boys secure, and left with 'em grasping for the floor faster than Molly Ringwald falls out of an Asian billionaire's birthday cake. We heard she does that sometimes. We can't back that up. That sentence has no basis.

Abandoned underwear witness 'Ry Ry Stephens' puts it best:

"Owen Wilson? Well, he came in to my store lookin' for pants. One thing led to another. Next thing I know, the age 40 and up female employee's now have his underpants. Pristine, white, asain embroidered undies. Now I ain't sayin' he's a cougar hunter, I'm just sayin' he left a nice thoughtful gift in exchange for some tried and true guest service in the men's department. And I didn't mean that in a cable TV kind of way."

If you are at all worried about the undergarment – don't. We've been well assured they're in a good home now, and their current owner has already attached a strap and stitched closed a leg-hole on the way to make them into a hand bag. And since it's Hawaii, we also assume a Magnum PI moustache will eventually be groomed in with a black silhouette of TC's helicopter. We envision it all about halfway down the front. Nice.

With potential like that, GoldenPalace.com must be salivating.