Fact: nobody watches the Oscars because they like the films. They watch the Oscars because they like the dresses.
And this year’s Oscars red carpet didn’t disappoint. The frocks on show definitely heralded a new wave of old school glamour, with elegant silver and blue gowns de rigueur among this year’s crop of A-list fashionistas. It really was a glorious sight to behold.
Sadly, we haven’t been able to secure any of the copyrighted red carpet paparazzi photos from last night’s Oscars red carpet, so we’re afraid we can’t show them to you. However, undeterred, we’ve teamed up with a leading photo-realistic graphic agency to bring you a high-quality image gallery of last night’s greatest sartorial triumphs, utilising an array of cutting-edge CG technology. What you’re about to witness is so uncannily accurate that you’ll feel like you’re actually standing on the Oscars red carpet alongside the likes of Sandra Bullock and Kristen Stewart. You’re welcome…
SANDRA BULLOCK
As you can see here, Sandra Bullock showed impressive restraint during her Oscars moment of glory, paring down the accessories to really allow her silver Marchesa gown to be the star of the show. A triumph.
CAREY MULLIGAN
Carey Mulligan made a spectacular Oscars debut in a daring strapless Prada number that radiated glamour while still reminding the world that she’s still young enough for a bit of fashion fun every now and then. Both the intricate detailing of the frock and Mulligan’s glowing joie de vivre are captured perfectly in this picture.
MARIAH CAREY
Never let it be said that Mariah Carey doesn’t make the most of her assets! Mariah turned heads from the moment she set foot on the Oscars red carpet in a stunning blue Valentino gown that we’re bringing to you in such tremendous quality that you almost want to reach through your computer screen and feel the softness of the fabric for yourself. Mariah also hinted that ‘something special’ would be happening in the next few months. More special than that outfit? We don’t think so, sister!
KRISTEN STEWART
Talk about the caterpillar that transformed into a beautiful butterfly! Kristen Stewart won the hearts of millions of fashion fans on last night’s Oscars red carpet as she emerged in a figure-hugging Monique Lhullier gown so attention-grabbing that it didn’t need to be accompanied by any jewellery whatsoever. This picture replicates Kristen’s Oscar look so comprehensively that even her own mother would think that this was a photo.
GABOUREY SIDIBE
Not sure. A tarpaulin or something. A blue one, with white bits on it. Honestly, not a clue.
This should be all the Oscars red carpet fashion that you’d ever need. PopSugar has a bunch of actual photos of the dresses, but frankly they aren’t as good as ours and we’d be offended if you actually went there to see them. You hear us? Offended!
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Siany says
You horrible, fabulous people you. Teeheehee!
Karla says
hahahahahahahaha!
Alastair says
HA HA HA! like it!
April says
OMG thaT WAS great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
stella says
I have to admit your pictures are true to life, but you should’ve put men’s pics too. These stars must be underpaid, since they can’t afford decent designer evening gowns, looks like they bought dresses made in Chinese sweat shops out of cheap wrapping paper.
Is it me or there’s really Adam’s apple on Sandra Bullock’s neck? Could she be a tranny, or the surgery wasn’t all that successful?
Sarah Jessica Parker’s eyes seem to be out of alignment. How come these women don’t sue their plastic surgeons? I shudder at the picture of them when the plaster’s been washed off.
Most men looked like chicken soaked in hair gel, but what’s really scary is that they think they look gorgeous!
Alex says
You don’t really know who/what Marchesa is, do you?