This year’s Oscar ceremony might actually be free of stupidly-long acceptance speeches if event producer Gil Cates has his way. 

Cates intends to ban winners taking to the stage for certain categories. Instead they’ll receive their award from a Wintonesque presenter situated somewhere in the audience. Whether or not this means awards will be handed down the auditorium in a ‘pass the parcel’ fashion is unclear. 

No doubt serial blabbers Gwyneth Paltrow and Halle Berry were choking on the their Asti at the announcement. Though it is doubtful their eggshell egos will be in danger of cracking. Most of the major categories, best actor, picture, etc, will assuredly still be collected in the same way; via a ponderous walk down the main aisle before eventually ascending the stage and letting rip. 

More likely casualties will be those poor fellows dressed in tuxedo t-shirts receiving gongs for Best Sound Design or Art Direction. And God forbid you’ve done a foreign language film, they’ll probably put you out in the lobby.

hecklerspray says long live the acceptance speech.  In 1973 a male streaker hit the stage while Galaxy smooth thesp David Niven was presenting scary Elizabeth Taylor with her Best Actress award. 

“Isn’t it fascinating” snubbed Niven “that the only time this gentleman has got a laugh is by showing off his shortcomings!”. 

Now that’s Entertainment!

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