Warning – by the time you’ve finished reading this article, Oprah Winfrey will have earned close to one thousand dollars; oh, and last night while you were sleeping Oprah Winfrey earned $237,000 too.

This is because Oprah Winfrey is the richest person in television at the moment, with Forbes estimating that Oprah earned $260 million last year alone, quadruple the amount of her next-placed rival. But while an annual salary of $260 million is a lot of money, it’s worth remember that… oh, who are we kidding, $260 million a year is a shitload of money regardless of anything. And Oprah’s vast wealth has led us to believe that we’re in the wrong business – which is why, as of tomorrow, we’re replacing pithy celebrity news with a pretend sincere discussion with some idiots about divorce and an interview with a filmstar so sycophantic we’ll have to scrub our vomit-stained bodies clean with wire wool afterwards. We’re coming for your cash, Oprah.