Each time we've wondered why so many people think that sitting in the Oprah Winfrey audience is even partially worthwhile, we're quickly reminded that it's because Oprah Winfrey likes to dish out free crap to her audience all the time.
And yesterday Oprah Winfrey did just that – every member of the Oprah Winfrey audience was given a debit card with $1,000 on it. There was a catch, of course; just as each audience member was trying to make sense of the enormity of this generous gift and starting to think of ways that it could improve their tedious lives, Oprah told them that they had to pass that $1,000 onto a charitable cause. While in most television audiences this tomfoolery would have ended in full-blown screaming outraged riots, the Oprah Winfrey audience instead probably clapped and whooped and cried and thought about their feelings or some other nonsense.
Oprah Winfrey seems to spend her life doing things for others – although not as much for Gayle King as some would have you believe. Oprah Winfrey is always there for celebrities, whether they need a couch to leap all over, a shoulder to cry on when people wrongly say they've split up with their boyfriend or a way to convince people that adopting Africans isn't evil. Oprah Winfrey is also there for struggling stage actors who want to star in her rubbish-looking Colour Purple musical. True, Oprah Winfrey isn't there for people who say that she should be the president – in fact she'll threaten to sue those people – but Oprah is there for the rest of the public.
Oprah Winfrey is already doing sterling work telling the public exactly what books they should be reading, and providing important services for people who want to hear Oprah's friends only talking about Oprah on the radio too – but if you sit in the Oprah Winfrey audience, that's when Oprah Winfrey dishes out love in the best way; with material gifts. Gift like gleaming brand new cars. But yesterday Oprah Winfrey had a gift of a different kind for her audience – a $1,000 debit card that they all had to pass onto charity. People reports:
Oprah Winfrey had a special treat for each of the 310 members of her audience on the day before Halloween: a debit card worth $1,000. Although no trick is attached, there is a slight catch. The card, sponsored by Bank of America, is actually part of a "gift of giving back" program – with the $1,000 having to go to a charitable cause, the Chicago-based talk queen says on the official Web site for her show… In terms of giving, the audience members are free to present the entire sum to one person, though family members are not eligible. They also have the option of dividing the money among several causes.
Writing on her website, Oprah Winfrey explained why letting people a million times poorer than her sniff some real money before being forced to give it to someone else was a good idea:
"I can honestly say that every gift I've ever given has brought at least as much happiness to me as it has to the person I've given it to. That's the feeling I want to pass on to you."
In addition to the $1,000 charity debit cards, each audience member was also given a DVD recorder so they can film their experiences of giving money to charity and send it to Oprah for use on a future show. Also, everyone in the Oprah audience was also fitted with a Saw III-style explosive collar that will blow up if either a) Oprah deems the passing on of money to not meet her requisite level of charity or b) the audience member doesn't shed at least 15 happy tears and then spend at least a week after a donation talking solely about how empowered they feel.
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jay says
Interesting to hear your comments about Oprah, especially given the fact that the woman has more class, taste talent, skill and intelligence than you will have in a hundred lifetimes.
Pedro says
yeah, billionaires giving poor people a little bit of money and ordering them to give it all to other people to make them feel special is really fucking classy isn’t it?
Joey says
It’s very easy for a billionaire like Winfrey to say it’s good to give. Those who have to pay their rent wach month don’t have
such luxurys I’m afraid.
She does not live in the real world. What a patronising woman!!
paul says
Does anyone have the 10/30/06 show on VHS they could make me a copy? I’m in Dallas and would be willing to pay postage and for the blank tape.
Thanks!
haaa-doou-ken says
Her next publicity stunt will probably be along the lines of $50 for each fart Oprah let’s you do in your face.
(naturally 25 cents will go to charity)
$25 extra if you leave your mouth open…ohhh the kindness
emily says
hi i love your show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sontsa Danny Joe says
Dear Mrs opah i am directing an orphanage in Cameroon.And i lack financail means to continue with it and ithink i will have close it.Since the govenment those not want to help me.But last year i reicieved some money from Samuel Etoo Which helped me take good care of it.The foundations name is SO CLOSE.Should in case i can be helped with something i will not close it thanks for your understanding I still have more to tell to you and if i close many ofthe children will die.
nichelle says
hi my mother is very poor and she need help please help her
Jimmy says
Wow you guys are really trying to find an excuse for Oprah not to be nice… I believe its extremely pathetic that you guys think Oprah is being cruel by encouraging kindness and trying to get people to get off their asses and help the less fortunate. And besides Pedro the audience could have done whatever they wanted with the 1000 dollars except they were not selfish enough to seriously think that what they would be doing could cause more harm to the world. i think several of you need to get a reality check and wake the fuck up and smell the new fresh air Oprah Winfrey may be rich but she aint no bitch!
lisda says
if i could watch oprah show, that would be great for me, getting 1000 dollar is so big enough for me convert to ringgit malaysia, i’m sure, i will pay all my credit cards debt, how lucky to be like oprah…..
Louella MCgee says
My name I Louella McGee I am 65 years of age. I have a granddaughter in The University of Ill in Champayne Ill. and she needs a computer and I am unable to get her one I have tried every one that I can, her mother passed away four years ago, and I am trying to do the best that I can for her and her 15 year old brother. Please help if you can, or can you refer me to someone that can. Thanks in advance Louella McGee