And yet nobody has noticed that this is a really bad idea.
Today, Elton John announced an opening date for his new musical Lestat – based on an Interview With The Vampire character – while Oprah Winfrey announced that she is to make a musical based on The Colour Purple.
Try as we can, we just can’t see the point of movies being remade
into musicals. Were people actually upset that there wasn’t anything to
clap along to in the Dirty Rotten Scoundrels movie? The problem with
musicals is that the entire plot has to come screeching to a halt every
five minutes so that someone can sing about how sad they are.
Still, that hasn’t deterred Elton John (CDs) and Bernie Taupin from
writing Lestat together. Based on the character from the Anne Rice
novels and films, the musical is…
"The story of the
extraordinary journey of one man who escapes the
tyranny of his oppressive family only to have his life taken from him.
Thrust into the seductive and sensual world of an immortal vampire,
Lestat sets out on a road of adventures in a quest for everlasting love
companionship but is forced to reconcile his innate sense of good with
his primal need to exist."
Urgh. Elton is excited about Lestat – which opens in Broadway in April – because "When I read Interview with the Vampire for the first time, I wanted to become a vampire." And Anne Rice is excited about Lestat, too. She has said "This musical is the fulfilment of my deepest dreams." Lady, you have some shit dreams.
Meanwhile, Oprah Winfrey has announced plans to turn The Colour
Purple – a book and film about the growth of a black woman in the early
1900’s which explores themes of feminism, racial issues, incest, religion and
the African experience – into a musical. Hardly screams out razzmatazz now, does it?
The show – full title Oprah Winfrey Presents: The Colour Purple –
opened last year to mixed reviews. But
now Oprah’s in charge, and the show has been rewritten, people are expected to flock to the theatres.
Though God alone knows what the song will be like. Expect toe-tapping
numbers like My Baby Is A Product Of Incest And Rape and I’m Beating
You Because I Think You Winked At A Boy In Church.
[story by Stuart Heritage]