You remember Blink 182, don't you? They were that band from six years ago that 12-year-olds liked because they'd do funny stuff in the rubbish videos for their terrible songs. Well, their drummer Travis Barker has just split up with his wife.
Because Travis Barker and his wife Shanna Moakler used to have their own MTV reality show – Meet The Barkers – and they've split up, just like Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson and Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro before them, the split between Travis Barker and his wife is being blamed on The Curse Of MTV, although The Curse Of Needy, Money-Hungry, Approval-Seeking TV Whores With Shit Haircuts is probably slightly more appropriate for all three splits.
Now is probably not a good time to be Travis Barker; Blink 182 – the annoying whiny guitar band he drums for – have all but split up and his new band The Transplants couldn't be less famous, he's just split up with his wife Shanna Moakler and, as a result, his TV career has hit the skids too. If Travis Barker wasn't always so busy spending all his time and mental energy trying to make his hair look quite as crap as it does, we imagine he'd be pretty bummed.
After less than two years of marriage, Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler have announced that they are to split up. No reason has been given for the split, although many commentators are pinning it on The Curse Of MTV – a mythic thing that split up Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey, split up Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro and almost burnt Kelly Osbourne to death in a house fire – since Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler were the stars of MTV's Meet The Barkers. And why not blame an abstract reason on the break-up of a marriage rather than look inside and examine your own failure to commit even though you managed to have two children together.
As is usually the case when two microscopically famous people split up, the slaves are thrown into action. According to Travis Barker's slave Dvora Vener:
"I can confirm that Travis filed this morning."
Meanwhile Shanna Moakler, communicating through her slave, said:
"My only concern right now is for the welfare and best interests of my children."
That's all well and good, but where are the entertaining lock-changing or airport urinating in this divorce? It's rubbish – try harder next time Travis Barker.
Read more:
Meet The Barkers Travis, Shanna Split – People
[story by Stuart Heritage]
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
suck a cock dude travis barker rocks
FUCK YOU.
Blink 182 is amazing.
Their songs are amazing.
So shove those stupid comments up your ass.
first of all, blink 182 don’t suck. just because you think that doesn’t mean it’s true. You think their an “annoying whiny guitar band” probably because your name is stuart heritage . Lol. so just fuck off to your parents house and shut the fuck up loser, and get some friends while your at it…
The guy that wrote this is a COCK.
Dude! Clearly you’ve done fuck all research! Travis works fucking hard and he’s undoubtably one the best drummers around today!
What do you do other than sit on your fat arse in front of a computer!
I think someone wishes they were somebody huh?
Are we a little jealous perhaps Mr Heritage, i think your the one thats ‘microscopically famous’ dearest.
Dick!
The guy who wrote this gave me the best laugh in a while!
nice work, that was good. and im a blink 182 fan!
Urmmm Travis barker is one of the most talented drummers in the world. A whiney guitar band what are you on about, have you even heard any of their songs? Your just some pathetic guy who writes stuff on a crappy website, whilst blink-182 make millions with their awesome music and get to live their dreams. May I also say this article wasnt even insightful what so ever, you know nothing about music and nothing about writing an article. Well done:)
Dear Stuart Heritage- you are a terrible writer, and so you know, Blink 182 is fucking awesome.
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