Everyone knows that Robert Pattinson has two main target markets – hysterical teenage girls and lonely old women.
So Miley Cyrus should be perfect for him. Miley’s got a little bit of both Robert Pattinson fans in her – the enthusiasm and breathless cadence of a teenage girl, plus the speaking voice and dead-eyed world-weary cynicism of very, very old lady.
But what’s this? Miley Cyrus doesn’t like Robert Pattinson? And she doesn’t think anyone else likes Robert Pattinson either? And she dedicated an entire 19-word throwaway aside in a stupid magazine for objectionable children to the subject? This means WAR! Possibly.
Although you’d imagine that Twilight hit home hardest with the legions of hormone-spazzed 14-year-old girls who ensured that every screening of the movie had to be followed by four hours of underpaid cinema workers mopping up the involuntary piss tsunami that accompanied every single scene of the breeze catching Robert Pattinson’s dreamy hair, you’re wrong.
In actual fact, the people most affected by Twilight were the small army of Disney-created tween stars. Knowing that it’d be patently absurd for them to carry on singing songs about how special everyone is on the inside by the time they’d started to sprout pubes, the likes of Vanessa Hudgens and The Jonas Brothers all lobbied for roles in the Twilight sequel, seeing it as the ideal career stepping stone between being a tween sensation and an adult hasbeen with a number of debilitating substance abuse problems.
But one tween wasn’t having any of this Twilight malarkey. And that’s Miley Cyrus. Miley Cyrus wants nothing to do with Twilight for the following reasons:
1 – Miley Cyrus still successful in her own right.
2 – To remain in keeping with her career so far, Miley Cyrus would contractually want Twilight 2 renamed Miley Cyrus In Twilight 2: Miley’s Craziest Adventure Yet!!
3 – If Miley Cyrus wants to be around creepy, otherworldly vampires all day, she can just hang out with her dad.
Also, Miley Cyrus doesn’t even like Robert Pattinson that much. She even told Teen Vogue that exact thing. Look:
“I’m not a huge Rob Pattinson fan. Girls aren’t really in love with Rob; they’re in love with [‘Twilight’ hero] Edward.”
What? Miley Cyrus, how dare you! Suggesting that girls don’t really love Robert Pattinson just because in person he’s sort of wooden and awkward and smells like heated-up animal dung? Don’t you realise that you’ve just alienated your entire fanbase here? Don’t make them pick between Robert Pattinson and you, Miley Cyrus. It can only end one way – sure, you might have broad commercial appeal, but until you’ve played such a transparently idealised version of masculinity that an entire generation of females will grow up depressed that you can never be theirs, you’re doomed to lose.
We guess we can write off the chances of seeing a Robert Pattinson/ Miley Cyrus romance too, then. Oh, who are we kidding – it was never going to happen. After all, Miley Cyrus is 16 years old and Robert Pattinson is 22. Judging by her previous form, that makes Robert about a decade too young for Miley.
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diane says
im not a fan of robert he is ugly. i agree with miley it dosnt mean eeveryone has to like him his eyes are creepy
sWEEZ says
Good article….Miley cyrus has no idea what Twilight is ….she has a great misunderstanding that people dont like Robert pattinson..uh she is wrong…people love him for his acting skills.TALENT and humblenesss…. even the celebrities started crushing on him…JUST bcoz he is such a down to earth person… Miley cant say that…..:x:x
and if that is the case first she got famous as “hannah montana” not as miley cyrus !
Super says
She’s an idiot.
RT says
Obviously a lot of people are misinformed:
Yes, Twilight is marketed towards teens and preteens who have nothing better to do than fantasize about vampires and the romantic appeal (if any at all) that they have. Honestly, I think Twilight is nothing better than a published fanfiction that screams “My name is Bella, I’m a Mary-Sue!” I mean, it’s pretty sad when the fanfiction writers of the fandom and the reviewers themselves say it is better than the book. I laugh when I see people try and compare the Twilight series to Harry Potter–as if they would ever be on the same level!
Two, I don’t think Robert Pattinson is all that hot. I mean, for the publicity photos and the movie maybe he is, if that’s your cup of tea. In real life? No offense, but he kind looks like a bum who doesn’t know the meaning of a hairbrush or de-greased hair. Grunge is nice, but Pattinson is no Kurt, that’s for sure!
Three: I can’t help but laugh! Sweez: Are you for real? What sparkle-covered hole are you living in? “…people dont like Robert pattinson..uh she is wrong
Susan says
Miley is a sixteen year old who acts 10 i watched her on Ellen and she was so stupid . I m sure she cant even read let alone act.What would you expect with a name like Miley anyway
michaela says
Ugh. I used to LOVE miley cyrus, but then i grew up
and matured, and stopped watching Hannah Montana. After
that she was just another teen celeb. Now, im really
considering not liking her at all. Im not in love with Rob,
im in love with Edward? Excuse Me? Um, im pretty sure im not
in love with a fictional character. I love Rob for who he
is. Miley hasnt even read the Twilight Books or anything at all
so she should just shut the hell up.
jessi says
miley is wrong a lot of people like Robert including he is weird but better than miley and of course tons of girls like edward who wouldnt? MILEY IS JUST JEALOUS CAUSE ROB HAS MORE FANS
Leslie says
4 words: KILL MILEY CYRUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she should just mind her own freakin buisness!!!! that fuckin slut dares to say that!?!?! WHAT A JEALOUS BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i use 2 think she was an ok person but forget that she can go die in a whole for all i care!!!!!! MILEY CYRUS IS JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE ROBERT PATTINSON IS SO MUCH MORE FAMOUS THEN HER AND HE BECAME THAT FAMOUS IN LESS THAN A YEAR AND IT TOOK MILEY OVER 2 YEARS TO BECOME SUPER FAMOUS! MILEY CYRUS HERES A MESSAGE 4 YOU: GO GET A LIFE, DIE IN A WHOLE U JEALOUS BITCH! YOU JUST LOST HUNDREDS OF FANS BY SAYING WE DONT REALLY LIKE ROB! WHAT A LIE!!!!!
Leslie says
oops…i ment 3 words (4 my last message)…my bad
Jonas_Girl14 says
I’m not a “fan” exactly of either one. You’re probably going to gasp when you hear this, but I didn’t even like the book Twilight that much, and it’s not like I wanna see that stupid Hannah Montana movie coming to theaters Friday. But what did Rob ever do to her? Sure, he doesn’t shower, and he has really creepy eyes, but heck, He’s hot! But also, it’s not like she HAS to love him like every other girl!! There are tons of guys out there who shower and are hot (at the same time! GASP it’s impossible!) that like her, so I also don’t blame her for not liking him.
dayna says
honestly, who really cares what miley cyrus thinks- the girl’s not even old enough to vote, yet her opinions are blasted all over the internet like she plays some sort of significant role in what everyone else thinks? she’s proved herself to be quite the little diva over the past couple months- maybe someone should knock her off her high horse before she becomes intolerable? p.s. rob you’re gorgeous- edward or not.
Beenie says
Does anyone really know how your life changes when you become an instant star? You’re constantly under a microscope, viewed 24 hours/7 days per week with constant criticism and distrust, compared constantly with other young stars, hounded after for merchandising, autographs, a piece of your hair… life is hell. You’re so tired, you can’t think straight. But, the ride is short yet fabulous. When you live a life where it’s your own and you have privacy and the right to express freely… that’s pure ectasy. People… enjoy what beauty life has in store for you. When you’re in the right place at the right time, like Robert is, it is the BEST feeling in the world. And, I wish him all the BEST! Enjoy life and love the one you’re with… because in the end, life is too short… and you end up living for others and not yourself. Miley’s successful youth is showing… she really should stop and think… before she speaks.
Michelle says
I agree and disagree with Miley. Most of Rob’s fans are in “love” with Edward and not him. However, there are also those who could care less about Edward think they love Rob. Unless, one has actually spent quality time with Rob, one cannot say she(he) they are in love with him. The proper is lust. We are in lust with him.
Edie says
OMG! Who cares!
kim says
ok miley used to be such a gud actress but then she lost it and im soz for that but she doesn’t have to make a HUGE commotion with twilight cause heaps of people love rob for his personatily not just his role as edward cullen an she shouldn’t make people choose between herself and Rob either. Miley is so talented but that doesn’t mean shes the only one who can be talented.I think Robert is so down to earth just like miley used to be. She needs to get back on track if she wants her fans numbers to increase all she needs to do is get back down to earth and realise that so is so much lucker than other people. And plus Robs cool
kim says
I think everyone love both because well you know why people luv EDWARD but other people luv ROB cause he has all the qualites that girls look for in guys
: Hot
: Smart
: Down-to earth
: Looking for girls
: And straight
fred says
GOOD ON YA
alisha (lishi) says
fuck miley cyrus rob is fucking amazing wtf!!! i luv rob and i already hated miley, rob ur awsum. miley yhoo suck gay dick!
sWEEZ says
RT ….U HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TWILIGHT IS …..U SHOULD ASK YOURSELF FIRST… WHICH WORLD U R LIVING IN ? GO AND READ THE BOOKS FIRST AND THEN COME TO THE CONCLUSIONS….DONT COMPARE IT TO HARRY POTTER COZ ITS DIFFERENT…..HUH HE IS REALLY A NICE PERSON ACCORDING TO PEOPLE…U GOT A WRONG IMPRESSION JUST LIKE MILEY…HOW LAME…SOME PPL R JUST JEALOUS AS HE GOT FAMOUS IN 1 YEAR OF TIME….PPL LOVE HIM AND SUPPORT HIM AS U CAN SEE THE FANS COMMENTS …..ITS JUST HARDLY 1 OR 2 PEOPLE LIKE U ….DUH…MILEY IS LIKE CREATING A WAR BY SAYING ALL THAT BULLSHIT !!…
Robert pattinson ROCKSS !!
marisol says
okayy well first of all
Miley Cyrus:
-A teenaged girl who grew up being known as hannah montana..
-wears a blond iretarded ass looking wig in her dumbass tv show
-hill billy hoe bagg
-and a girl that should stfu because she hasnt even read the twilight series!!!
(i must say her bro is pretty cute..UNLIKE HER!!)
and she should really just keep stuff like that to her self because people are starting to really not like her..
i mean shes dating a guy thats way too old for her and he is probobly just using her for the fame..which isnt working..
and shouldnt he be in jail already?isnt that like illegal to date a underaged girl?!
yeahh pretty dumbb
and robert pattinson is a talented great actor who is not only loved as his character edward cullen but also as robert pattinson
im sure that if miley ever did read the books she would fall in love with him and she will just be a hypacrit..so miley
for words for you..
SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!
carley says
Well first off I am a 100% in love with robert pattinson. I’ve liked him since he played in “Harry Potter and the goblet of fire” He is a very talened actor/singer, and he has great personality. Miley as said before did Not become famous as Miley Cyrus she became famous as Hannah Montana. No offense, but i would perfer robs music over mileys anyday or night.
JULIE says
OK, I AM A HUGE FAN OF BOTH ROBERT AND MILEY,(MORE OF ROB) BUT SHE IS TOTALLY WRONG! MOST GIRLS ARENT IN LOVE W/ROB BECAUSE HE PLAYS EDWARD CULLEN, MOST OF US REALLY DO LOVE ROB, AND WE ARE NOT THAT STUPID TO BE IN LOVE WITH A FICTIONAL CHARACTER, WELL AT LEAST NOT ME. EITHER WAY TWILIGHT ROCKS!!!!!!! AND ROBERT DOES NOT NOT SMELL LIKE DUNG! AND WILL U PEOPLE QUIT THE HATING!!!!!!!!
JULIE says
UR FUNNY!
BUT I DON’T BELIEVE THAT HER BF JUSTIN IS JUST DATING MILEY FOR FAME.
THEY REALLY DO LOVE EACH OTHER AND HER SHOW IS PRETTY COOL.
AND YES, SHE SHOULD NOT OPEN HER MOUTH IF SHE HAS NO CLUE WAT SHE IS TALKING ABOUT. THE FIRST THING SHE SHOULD GO DO IS READ THE TWILIGHT SERIOUS. BECAUSE I CAN GUARANTEE YOU THAT SHE WILL FALL IN LOVE TOO!
Emily says
I love Robert Pattinson he is so hot
and he seems like he has a great personality =]
Its like my dream to meet him.
Gen says
Fans know the difference.
Rob is real and Edward is not.
And you can like them both
she pisses me off, that smart mouth.
dgaf says
wtf… wow i am tired of this skank already,
like for real she is pissing me off and i dont care i if i go to juvey, if i ever meet her i am gonna beat her ass.
she needs to shut the fuck up, she thinks she is speaking for people, ha, she is hella lame and is over ratted. yea edward is dreamy as hell but people see rob everywhere and his interviews and see how he is as himself, he is so kute and shy. she had no right to say tht and i hope people relize tht this chick talks and sings like a man and cant act all tht much. well this is my opinan and i dont give a fuck if you agree or not.
i love the twilight series and forever will, and i am gonna try to be in eclipse as a new born or something. haha later.
Julian Mentat says
Can’t we all just get along?
People who like Miley, and people who like Robert; people who speak English, and people who simply let a cat walk on their keyboard; and people who like Kilometery (she’s like Miley but European).
Sarah says
It’s odd that the above comments have one common trait despite their animosity; they defend their pop idols as if they were friends, and speak as if they know them personally. That’s super weird, folks.
allie says
Ok,, so I kind of agree with miley Cyrus about all the obsessed tenagers saying that they are in love with rob pattinson. Yeah right. They are just in love with the character he plays. I’m sure if it was any other hot guy playing edward they would be saying the same thing. I mean don’t get me wrong he is totally hot and all, but they aren’t really in love with him. They don’t even know this guy.
KOL rule says
Nicely stated.
Jaimie says
LOOK . i to-ta-lly dont agree wit miley cyrus she is wrong he might stink bt thats not something you should judge himm on miley is jealous an i think she is jus turnin into a lil slut like brittany spears i really dont care wat people got to say i did like miley, bt not thatt much now not at all . MILEY: if i was you i would not say any thing about edward collen its stupied becus alot of people like himm your jus losin fans by saying wat you are you are ugly an stupid i like both robert an edward i think hes is beautiful . the movie was awsome bt some bad parts that look bad ann needa be fixd . bt i mean i love it. robert seems like a veary out spoke person btt whoo cares fuk miley cyruss, an iff yougot anything to say about this fukk you too.
Mandy says
Okay guys, opinions are like assholes, everybody has one! Get over it! I agree with Michelle’s post that people lust after him. How many of you really know him? Sure, he seems like a down to earth person. He is a very talented actor, but I prefer his music;)And he is very handsome to me. Everyone gets so worked up over someone they don’t even know. I’m 24 and not one of the obsessed fans, so I’m not a teenager or an old lady either. I believe his appeal attracts women and unfortunately little girls of all ages. The the comments about being in love with him and proposals are a little weird and scary!
THC says
twilight is stupid
sorry my oppion
Alyson says
I hate her, i bet she has no idea what twilight is, or how much good looking robert pattinson is.
He’s the best.
miley’s a bad witch and a slut
Alyssa says
Twilight sucks, Miley Cyrus sucks. Once you people all grow the fuck up, you’ll realize that.
Lorin says
miley cyrus is just jelouse cos rob pattinson is more famous than her now.
miley cyrus is succesful in her own right, shes succesful because of her dad.
she needs to get a grip.
Jaylynn says
Okay.couple of things..
1)so i saw the movie twilight and…..
it wasn’t that great. It was nice.. but not so amazing like everyone said.
2)Robert Patterson is cute, but a little creepy. But i would consider dating him. It’s just his eyes that creep me out.
3)Miley Cyrus doesn’t know what the FUCK she’s talking about. No one cares what you think, and they’re in love with HANNAH MONTANA, not miley cyrus….
4) she truly isn’t talented. just FUCKING LUCKY!!!!
Monja Elisa says
Ok, I was a huge Miley fan untill i read this article here just now..
Now I’m Officialy gonna throw out all her cd’s and posters..
I wan’t nothing to do with her, She seems like a real b….h.
Forget her, She isn’t anywhere close to Rob’s level..
She is just jaleous that Rob can bought sing, act and got great looks.
Rob forever:(
hellokitty4ever says
robert pattison is cute…but i really don
JennyConnery says
Hey…everybody have their OWN share of thought and opinion…
we live in a free country right…?
what ever opinion Miley have toward somebody is her business.. don’t need to act like kinda “stupid and OBSES” i ALSO can confessed that (for e.g)I like Hannah Montana but I don’t like Miley Cyrus.. I LIKE Hannah Montana because kids see she cool, but when she turn to be Miley, she just not awesome… even I don’t want to agree, but the truth kills me..what Miley say may have some white truth behind that…i have read twilight and the saga for that matter, and I only fall in love with Edward…who apperantly have been played by robert pattinson…if robert not been choosen, who ever played Edward never satisfied anybody imaginary Edward Cullen
melabonbon says
So maybe Hannah and Edward can hook up then? Does Hannah like Edward? Maybe if Miley could stay in character as Hannah and Robert could stay in character as Edward, their relationship would have a chance. They both live in free countries, right?
lilla says
I simply HATE twiight!!
JUANITA says
OMG! I DNT LIKE MILEY NOW! SHE DOESNT KNO WAT SHE IS MISSIN! MAN SHE CAN NOT SPEAK FOR OTHER PPL! MAN I LOVE ROBERT FOR HIMSELF! HE IS SOO FUNNY! N LETS NOT 4GET CUTE! MAN SHE IS SOOOO WRONG!
Dea says
ACTING SKILL AND TALENT? BEST BE FUCKING TROLLING
Liza says
OMG ! I ALWAYS HATED HER AND I STILL DO ! BUT NOW ITS JUST PERSONAL ! SHE HAS SOOOO CROSSED THE LINE ! UGH I STILL HATE U MILEY !
sarah says
i never used to like her but i wasnt dat of a hater! but now..when she said this..i soo hate her! she just needs attention! i mean, robert’s is all in news so ofcourse she would want her name to be in the headlines! such a loser miley is! n i know evrybody has diffrnt opinion but that doesnt mean she has the righ to talk abt other girls! i love robert! hes simply the best! Get a grip miley cyrus!
u r soo wrong! ughh!! I HATE U MILEY CYRUS!!!!
lurdanys says
if mily cyrues thinkes that she likes to sing because her music stinkes and shes agly and if she dosen’t like robert pattinson and none of the twilight stares and dosen’t like twilight and dosen’t belive in vampiares then way shee has to talk about it way she dosEN’T STAY SHUT BECAUSE SHES A BICTH AND A MOTHER FUCER SO SHE BETTER SHUT UP BECAUSE THATS WAT SHE HAS TO DO SO SHES STUPIED
sammie says
hey miley nobody is in love with you your just a little dirt butt robert pattinson and edward cullen are both better than you can ever be so stick a sock in it or whaat ever you stick in your mouth ask the last girl who said stuff about robert pattinson she got beat up why don’t you come to cincy and talk about robert famous or not everybody would come after you ok your daddy made you famous ok run to da da about wanting to be famous so i think you need to open your eyes hannah montanna is better than miley dirt dirt ok so hop off talking about people becausee you a mad little girl because nobody screams your name like they do rob ok i love rob to death he is the best actor i ever seen he is hot and has a good personality so shutt up little girl put on your big girl pants and stop talking about people that was so 7th grade you almost 18 bra bra talk about somebody that aint loved by millions ha ha ha ha youu wishh youu hadd it likee thatttt ha ha ha ha
crazy girl says
i love robert pattison……………he is such a charming good kissser…i would surely like to kiss him if i could but i still dont hate miley cause she is a good singer……hope you guyzz like my status n want to meet me (only for miley n robert)
girl... says
well i have thought about this rationally and everyone has there own opinions , heres mine miley is a fucking hoe bag rat face slut crusty toe slag bitch mother fucking jealous skinny shit! (and thats only half the things i wanted to say), also not unless you know robert pattinson and you’ve met him in person you cant say whether or whether not hes a “good,fragile,nice,innocent” person because what people say on camera could be a complete lie but personally i am a twilight fan and i do read the books , and yes im 14 so you might think stfu but guys its only a silly article so get a grip and go watch jeremy kyle or something okay :)…