Ever wondered who's influenced the Olsen twins the most? No, us neither – move along.
No, wait, come back. Just because you don't care who influenced the Olsen twins, we don't care who influenced the Olsen twins and we'd be frankly stunned if even the Olsen twins cared who influenced the Olsen twins, the Olsen twins are writing a book all about the people who have influenced them.
The book – tentatively titled I Totally Like That, You Know, Old Film Guy Who's, Like Dead And Stuff – doesn't have a release date. But that doesn't matter, because if you're thinking about buying the Olsen twins' book, we'll come and beat you up.
You know when people start describing their dreams to you, and how it's widely considered to be the dullest, most self-absorbed thing a person can do? Well, it might be time to rewrite the rulebook, because the Olsen twins have plumbed the endless puddle of their combined intellect and found an even more insultingly self-absorbed, faux-profound way to slap you in the face.
The Olsen twins are writing a book. A book about their influences. A book about their influences called Influence. That we're expected to buy.
That's right! Now you – yes, you – can discover for yourself the individuals who shaped the skinny young pointless lives of the stars behind the epic To Grandmother's House We Go and the timeless tear-jerker How The West Was Fun. Not the real main influences of the Olsen twins, you understand – like their pushy parents and Lance Armstrong's cock – but invented ones that make them look cleverer than they actually are, as the Associated Press reports:
According to a statement issued Wednesday by Penguin, the book will include "exclusive photographs of Ashley and Mary-Kate from world renowned photographer Rankin, and a wide variety of other never-before-seen materials and interviews from Mary-Kate and Ashley's personal collections." The 21-year-old actresses will be writing about photographers, artists and designers including Bob Colacello, Terry Richardson, Jack Pierson and Christian Louboutin… "Ashley and I interviewed the people who have inspired us, with the hope that they will inspire and teach others," Mary-Kate Olsen said in a statement.
Still reading this? You haven't got so angry at the Olsen twins' self-indulgent desire to make you better people by being more like them that you've ran screaming into the street and punched a stranger in the eye? Goodness, you're doing better than us.
OK, we'll admit it. We're terrified that this Olsen twins Influence book will be successful. Not because we despair at the cultural repercussions of such a transparent vanity project being read by the public, but because we're frightened that the Olsen twins' peers will copy their idea.
Because it's one thing to buy a book about the Olsen twins' influences, but we're buggered if we'll buy a book based on Lindsay Lohan's influences. Pay good money for a big book of blank pages that all smell a bit like gin and vomit? Sod off.
Read more:
Someone says
ok i DONT UNDERSTAND and no sensible person would read THIS no wonder there is NO COMMENTS AT ALL YOU SUCK YOU @$$ HOLE