Old/New 1972 Elvis Photos Lost/Found
Then buzz it up
April 11th, 2008 at 15:00 by Shawn Lindseth
Everyone knows that Elvis is dead. We think it’s because he fell off a train or something. He was fumbling for a twinkie and grabbed way past his point of balance.
He glided for a few feet with his jumpsuit wings, but he wasn’t good at steering and smashed into a light post. Over the next five minutes his neck was snapped in two. Not from the train - he was just gliding really slow. If you didn’t already know, we’re sorry to have to break it to you. The king is dead. Don’t worry though because he lives on in pictures.
New pictures.
That’s right - brand new pics of the king have emerged. They may or may not have titles like Elvis: Sweating With Resolve, Elvis Picking Things Off His Skin or Elvis Gliding Into A Lamp Post/Goodbye Elvis. That last one we find offensive.
Careful how you name stuff, photographer.
Fans still reeling from Elvis’ death probably take comfort in knowing their hero is currently reincarnating deep in the bottomless belly of his chunky pregnant daughter. He’s here again - among us. Why, this very second he’s probably growing fingers, toes and both sets of genitalia that all babies develop in the womb until one set overpowers the other, only to eat it in a sweet, delicious victory. That’s how gender is decided. We lerned it in high school.
That’s all happening even as you read this, except for the reincarnated Elvis bit. That’s not actually happening at all. For those of you that were waiting - keep doing what you’re doing. And until Disney develops the right kind of animatronics to reanimate the king’s green moldy corpse, a few new pictures of him will have to tide you over. All Headline News has the scoop:
“Iconic never-before-seen photos of Elvis Presley have recently surfaced which shows Elvis rocking out at Madison Square Garden. One of the most classic Elvis photos shows The King wearing a white jumpsuit on stage, looking up to the sky with his arms outstretched and holding his cape spread out behind him.”
The pictures are glorious, if you were wondering. The originals would look so nice next to your Elvis lunch-box, your Elvis lamp-shade and your actual preserved arm from the drummer of Def Leppard.
So, you know, keep your eyes open for an auction.
Read More:
Related and recent:
- Elvis Car Causes eBay Mayhem
- Lisa Marie Presley Violently Pregnant
- Elvis Gun Gets Stolen, Found Down The Crapper
- Elvis’ Teddy Bear Bites The Big One
- Uri Geller Buys Elvis Presley’s Gaff
- Mariah Carey: Bigger Than Elvis, Also Marginally Less Dead
- Fans Go Mental For New Elvis Presley Book
- Who’s The Best Dead Celebrity? Elvis Is The Best Dead Celebrity
April 11th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Christ, now you’ve done it.
Maurice’ll be back in a second with more
autoamusing Elvis garble. I’m wrapping myself
in plastic as I type. Does H-spray have an
internetable firehose? How about pictures of Elvis now?
Could you guys work out a Before and After piece?
April 11th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
OK I’ll play, Euclid
Last year I found a rare New York print of a rare portrait of Ludwig Van Beethoven here in Ireland which was unknown to the Beethovenhaus museum guys in Bonn. All my questions about it on the internet have fallen on deaf ears.
I also received rare 26th September 1956 photos of Elvis from a historian in Tupelo Mississippi. They can be seen on my Blog, with a plug for hecklerspray. Just click on Maurice……….but you already have of course
April 11th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
It is precisely because of articles as the one written by Shawn, that the Elvis he wished had never had a second life, will indeed have a third, and a fourth, and a fifth…This is what ACTUALLY happens, not in your world, Shwan, but in the real world
An article like yours hits the papers. OK. Of every ten people who read it, say, three are Elvis fans already, two know little about him but have nothing against him, two can’t stand him, and the remaining three don’t even know who Elvis Presley is.
Contemplate, if you will, what can, and what will happen, to the five who are neither fans or who can’t stand him. I don’t care the reasons why this is so, since as you will soon see, it has ZER0 bearing on what the result will be vis a vis the other five.
Of the five, one will remain uniterested, even as he reads the kind of stuff you’ve written, Shawn. That person will have zero interest in reading about a person who’s been dead for 30 years, and whose fans you treat with such comtempt.
But the remaining four, my dear Shawn, and that is human nature, will be interested, in varying degrees, in the subject of your ire, sarcasm, and ridicule. Who is this guy about whom the writer puts so much vile?
And that’s only, again, human nature. Of those four, if they do the research, and if by chance, they listen to even a single song, or a single clip, of the best Presley had to offer, the that type of article, I repat, that type of article, instead of making people less interested in Elvis’ afterlife, will have the opposite efefct.
I predict that of the four who do the research, and this over the course of say, a year, one will be a fan for life, two will like him, and the fourth will not.
So, after each article such as yours, if you do the math, Shawn, what the writer “creates” is one more fan, two more persons that like him, and another who doesn’t.
His percentages increase, not only insofar as likeability, but in terms of increasing the number of people interested in him, the latter irrespective of whether they adore, like, or dislike him.
So, Shawn, let us hope other writers immitate your style. To think that your objective would have had a better chance to succeed, had you used a different language…
April 11th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
It is precisely because of articles as the one written by Shawn, that the Elvis he wished had never had a second life, will indeed have a third, and a fourth, and a fifth…This is what ACTUALLY happens, not in your world, Shwan, but in the real world
An article like yours hits the papers. OK. Of every ten people who read it, say, three are Elvis fans already, two know little about him but have nothing against him, two can’t stand him, and the remaining three don’t even know who Elvis Presley is.
Contemplate, if you will, what can, and what will happen, to the five who are neither fans or who can’t stand him. I don’t care the reasons why this is so, since as you will soon see, it has ZER0 bearing on what the result will be vis a vis the other five.
Of the five, one will remain uniterested, even as he reads the kind of stuff you’ve written, Shawn. That person will have zero interest in reading about a person who’s been dead for 30 years, and whose fans you treat with such comtempt.
But the remaining four, my dear Shawn, and that is human nature, will be interested, in varying degrees, in the subject of your ire, sarcasm, and ridicule. Who is this guy about whom the writer puts so much vile?
And that’s only, again, human nature. Of those four, if they do the research and if , by chance, they listen to even a single song, or watch a single clip of the best Presley had to offer, then that type of article, I repeat, that type of article instead of making people less interested in Elvis’ afterlife, will have the opposite effect.
I predict that, of the four who do the research, and this over the course of say, a year, one will be a fan for life, two will like him and the fourth will not.
So, after each article such as yours, if you do the math, Shawn, what the writer “creates” is one more fan, two more persons that like him, and another who doesn’t.
His percentages increase, not only insofar as likeability, but in terms of increasing the number of people interested in him, the latter irrespective of whether they adore, like, or dislike him.
So, Shawn, let us hope other writers immitate your style. To think that your objective would have had a better chance to succeed, had you used a different language…
April 11th, 2008 at 9:18 pm
I liked not reading that whole thing so much the first time, thank you so much for giving me the chance not to read it all over again.
April 12th, 2008 at 12:07 am
gir, I’m not reading your reply either. Twice.
“Elvis and Company.
You know it in your heart,
Now know it in your head,
Elvis followed Beethoven,
And joined the lesser dead.
They do no doubt endure,
Because of song and score.
Along with Michelangelo,
And Socratese of yore.
Just think of those who’ve passed,
Like Leonardo . Gone.
But you never see the last,
Of names that just live on.
Mankind mourns their like,
All of the lesser dead,
You knew this in your heart,
Now you know it in your head.” MC.
gir, did not read it. But he won’t forget it now.