Old Gilligan’s Island Star Guilty Of Being Blasted On Pot

Gilligan's Island has a fond place in the hearts of all British people, as the show that none of us have seen but we all know about because of the constant references on other imported American TV shows.

Seriously, none of us have ever seen Gilligan's Island so we can't even begin to tell you what it's about. Although we can safely say that Gilligan's Island star Dawn Wells is a massive stinking pothead.

It's true - Dawn Wells pleaded guilty to reckless driving after police found all sorts of marijuana in her car last year. At this point we'd like to use a Gilligan's Island catchphrase as an ironic statement of Dawn Wells' situation, but we've never seen it so we'll just make one up instead - Cat's pyjamas!

British hecklerspray readers will probably need this put into some sort of context, so here goes. Dawn Wells from Gilligan's Island pleading guilty to a charge of reckless driving is a bit like Victor Meldrew pleading guilty to being honkered off his noggin on heroin, or that Riddler-faced woman from My Family pleading guilty to bundling 20 kittens into a binbag and kicking them down the stairs. That's how serious it is.

Now that's cleared up, we can proceed. Last year 69-year-old Dawn Wells was arrested after police noticed her driving erratically, only to discover all kinds of drug paraphernalia in her car when they stopped her. Dawn Wells, of course, shot to fame playing farm girl Mary Ann Summers on Gilligan's Island, which we think is basically Lost with a better theme tune.

Anyway, as E! Online reports, even though she pleaded guilty to the drug charges, Dawn Wells has still been hit with a hefty combination of punishments:

Gilligan's Island star Dawn Wells has been sentenced to six months' unsupervised probation after she was arrested last October in Driggs, Idaho, for having marijuana in her car. The former actress, 69, pleaded guilty Feb. 29 to one count of reckless driving. As part of her plea bargain, additional misdemeanor counts of driving under the influence, possession of drug paraphernalia and possession of a controlled substance were dropped. In addition to the probation, she was sentenced to five days in jail and fined $410.50.

All that for just driving a bit squiffy? Dawn Wells should have really just ploughed down as many drugs as she could and driven full-speed into oncoming motorway traffic instead, because you don't even get an hour and a half in jail for that these days. 

In fact, given the entertainment world's fascination with women who drive under the influence, perhaps this guilty plea will be a launchpad for Dawn Wells' professional second wind. And now that Dawn's fellow dangerous drivers Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie have given up The Simple Life, maybe Dawn Wells should have a shot at taking over. It'd be great because it'd basically be the same as the original, only starring a near-septuagenarian pothead who ends each episode weeping "Is this what I've become?" at her own reflection. Perfect.

Read more:

Gilligan's Mary Ann Goes to Pot - E! Online