If you're anything like us, you'll have long since given up hope of reading If I Did It, Here's How It Happened, the book where OJ explains exactly how he'd have stabbed two people to death if he wasn't completely innocent – but we're all in luck.
A judge has handed over the rights to OJ Simpson's If I Did It, Here's How It Happened to the family of murder victim Ron Goldman, who don't seem to mind that they'll effectively be profiting from the death of their son. All in all, the Goldmans will get 90% of the proceeds from the sale of If I Did It, Here's How It Happened – and the book will go on sale just as soon as the Goldmans have Photoshopped a decent enough picture of OJ Simpson rolling around naked in pool of their dead son's blood and fellating a knife for the cover.
The story of If I Did It, Here's How It Happened by OJ Simpson is a story without any winners at all. When Fox announced an OJ Simpson book and interview all about how Simpson would have murdered his ex-wife and her friend – like he stood trial for, if he'd have done it, which he apparently didn't – the public outcry was so huge that the book was pulped, the interview was axed and the book's publisher was sacked. So Fox have come out of this badly.
Then there's OJ Simpson, who admits himself that writing a book about how he hypothetically murdered his ex-wife was probably in bad taste. But more than that, If I Did It, Here's How It Happened also got the attention of the Goldmans, the family of murdered Ron Goldman who OJ Simpson was ordered to pay $38 million to after being found to be responsible for his death in a 1997 civil case. Claiming that any money OJ Simpson received from the sale of the book was rightfully theirs, the Goldmans sued OJ Simpson and got a judge to freeze OJ Simpson's book money and also do all sorts of other complicated legal stuff to him that basically meant that nobody would sell him steaks. So OJ Simpson has come out of this badly.
And then there's the Goldman family. The Goldmans were initially against If I Did It, Here's How It Happened until they realised that they could make money from it. And now it looks like they will, as CNN reports:
A federal bankruptcy judge Monday awarded 90 percent of the proceeds from the sale of the rights to O.J. Simpson's book "If I Did It" to the family of Ron Goldman, who was slain alongside Simpson's wife Nicole Brown Simpson in 1994. The remaining 10 percent will go to a trustee for the Simpson estate to pay the former football star's creditors, including multimillion-dollar wrongful death judgments owed the Brown and Goldman families.
However, the Goldmans want to change the title of OJ Simpson's book to Confessions Of A Double Murderer and, as far as we know, put microchips in every book so that it does a chillingly sinister laugh every time you turn a page. So the Goldmans will theoretically make money from the sale of OJ Simpson's murder book, which would normally mean that they'd come out of this well. But since they'll be getting rich from a graphic account of their son's murder, we're going to say that they're coming out of this a little bit badly too.
Anyway, none of this actually matters because anyone really interested in OJ Simpson's murder book will have downloaded it from TMZ, anyone with a passing interest in the OJ Simpson murder book will have read the important chapter in Newsweek and everyone else would rather smash knitting needles into their eyeballs than read something as flat-out tasteless as If I Did It, Here's How It Happened.
So what's 90% of nothing again?
Read more:
Karl says
Fred Goldman is a leech and a bigot. The courts in California are completely screwed up when you can be held finacially reponsibile for something you have been found innocent of doing. So the the white man is going to get the black man’s money, this isn’t new. The proud father of the drugged out son, who can’t try to remember the good if there was any good in his son is going to declare a work of fiction to be fact because he
says it is true. Mr. Goldman simpson was declaredINNOCENT in the CRIMINAL court system. GET OVER IT!
michael says
2 points:
1) It is not possible to be found innocent in the US. Please learn something about the law before making a fool of yourself.
2) OJ wasn’t black until he killed people and his lawyers advised him that pretending to be black might serve his interests. You played along like a fool, and he’s still laughing at you while nailing white chicks in his multi-million dollar house that only white people are allowed to visit.
By the way, the rest of us are over it. That’s why we’re not writing in all caps on message boards about the injustice of the legal system, and ridiculing the fathers of murder victims.