OJ Simpson Either Knew About Guns Or Didn’t

The only things standing between OJ Simpson spending the rest of his life in jail for armed robbery and OJ Simpson being set free to skip around in a meadow like a wide-eyed schoolgirl are guns.

And whether or not OJ Simpson knew there were guns during the heist has been the main point in the court case to determine whether or not OJ Simpson should face a full trial for his alleged crime. OJ Simpson, you see, is adamant that he saw none of his goonsquad carrying guns during the hotel-room sports memorabilia raid - but testimonies by the goon who owned the guns, the goon who OJ Simpson asked to carry a gun and the memorabilia dealer who apparently had a gun held to his face seem to go against that. It all sounds a bit far-fetched to us - anyone who's read If I Did It knows that OJ Simpson's weapon of choice is a knife. That's a knife.

OJ Simpson is currently in the middle of a court case that will determine if there's enough evidence for him to face a full criminal trial over his role in September's supposed armed robbery of two sports memorabilia dealers. If there is enough evidence then OJ Simpson could spend the rest of his life in jail, and if there isn't enough evidence then a large percentage of the world's population will rub its eyes and loudly proclaim "Whaaaaa?" - especially since none of this court case is going OJ Simpson's way.

On Thursday when the trial began, we heard the testimony of Bruce Fromong - the sports memorabilia dealer who claims that one of OJ Simpson's more anatomically-incompetent goons held a gun to his face and threatened to shoot him in the ass - and the case continued on Friday with a testimony from Charles Cashmore.

You may remember Charles Cashmore as one of the OJ Simpson goonsquad members who agreed to testify against OJ Simpson in return for more lenient sentencing - and that's precisely what he did on Friday, insisting that although OJ Simpson knew about the guns, he flat-out denied the presence of guns at the raid almost immediately after it was over. According to Cashmore, OJ Simpson told his henchmen in the getaway car:

"There were no guns, right, gentlemen?… We didn't have any guns. Nobody saw any guns."

This is a claim backed up by Thomas Riccio, the auctioneer who set-up the meeting between OJ Simpson and the memorabilia dealers, and also the man who recorded it. He had claimed that OJ Simpson phoned him up right after the sting, saying:

"He left me a voice mail minutes after it happened saying: 'I'm hearing people are saying there were guns. There were no guns.' I don't know how he knew what any of [us] was saying."

Of course, it could be argued that everyone testifying against OJ Simpson has their own agenda - like Bruce Fromong's desire to have Jack Nicholson play him in a movie of his life or Charles Cashmore's desire to spend less time being shanked in the kidneys by his psychopathic cellmate than he needs to - but that'll all no doubt be assessed when the case continues tomorrow.

As for OJ Simpson, well, we can see his point too. After all, is it really a crime to hire a gang of men from golf clubs and wedding receptions to burst into a hotel room and threaten violence at gunpoint to a pair of sports memorabilia dealers simply because they happen to be in possession of some items that you may have once owned?

Yes. Yes it is. Clearly.