Drake and Rihanna have finally decided to think about someone’s feelings other than their own. Most notably, they’ve read my 20 million blogs dedicated to them and have decided to stop hurting me and just be a damn couple already. That’s right, Rihanna has stopped making all the worst choices when it comes to men and has told Jimmy Brooks to wheel his way into her heart. It’s a mid-March miracle!
Rihanna and Drake have been gallivanting all over Europe together for the past month, so color me not surprised that they’ve decided to become sexually monogamous. Well, Rihanna has decided to become sexually monogamous, because I just assume Drake hasn’t banged anyone else since him and Rihanna first dated a few years back, and has instead just been working on songs about Rihanna and naming his various porcelain dolls he collects Rihanna and crying while he jerks off watching Rihanna music videos. All that work has finally paid off, bud!
So, ok, like I said, Drake and Rihanna have been spotted all over Europe together for the last while. He’s on tour, she’s performed with him, she’s frequently at his shows in the VIP, and the other night they left his show together HOLDING HANDS!!!
Ok, so you can’t really see their hands, BUT YOU CAN TOTALLY TELL THEY’RE HOLDING HANDS! IT’S SO OBVIOUS! HOW AM I A 27-YEAR-OLD WOMAN WHO CARES ABOUT THIS SO MUCH?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!
Sources allegedly very close to the couple (no, it wasn’t my delusional ass) told TMZ this:
Multiple sources extremely close to the couple tell us, Rihanna and Drake have gone from casually hooking up to seriously dating … they’ve decided to give it a serious shot.
We’re told Rihanna wants to spend as much time with Drake as her schedule will allow — because he treats her better than anyone she’s ever been with.
As for Drake, he’s smitten — one source said “he’s in the best mood he’s been in a long time.”
Saying he treats her better than anyone she’s ever been with isn’t that big of a compliment when it comes to Rihanna, because Chris Brown isn’t exactly a hard act to follow. However, this does warm my cold little heart and I couldn’t be more excited about the coupling of Rihanna and Drake. I can just imagine how happy they must be.
Rihanna be all like:
And Drake be all like:
And Krysta be all like: