An Ode to Guy Fieri: TV’s Most Obnoxious Food Personality

Guy Fieri is very annoyingAfter years of tainting televisions across the United States, the obnoxiousness of Guy Fieri is finally starting to receive some mainstream attention.

The New York Times recently published a scathing restaurant review that pretty much summed up the essence of just how annoying Fieri is. And the public responded favorably to that review.

It’s easy to dislike Fieri when he says dumb shit like “gays weird me out.” But even without his homophobia, the dude is a douchebag. In fact, he embodies the word, from his spiky highlights to his dumbass quips.

Speaking of those quips, the folks at Food Network Humor put together a list of his ten dumbest quotes. A few highlights include “Holy clam, Batman!”I’m driving the bus to Flavor Town” and, “I wanna be the ambassador to Chimichanga Flavor Town.”

If you haven’t seen his show, Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, it’s basically a half hour of quotes that are just as bad, if not worse, than the above. For about five minutes, it’s slightly entertaining to watch his antics. It’s all downhill after that.

Prior to Pete Wells’ awesome review of Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar, most of us knew that Fieri was an annoying TV personality. You know that “friend” you have on the outskirts of your inner circle who always has to be the center of attention but just ends up annoying the bejeezus out of everyone? His name is probably something like “Seth” or “Jad.” Well, that guy is Guy Fieri. So he’s always had this slightly irritating quality about him, but that quality made headlines when Wells skewered his restaurant.

“Has anyone ever told you that your high-wattage passion for no-collar American food makes you television?s answer to Calvin Trillin, if Mr. Trillin bleached his hair, drove a Camaro and drank Boozy Creamsicles?”

Wells’ take on the restaurant (and Guy’s persona) was so spot-on, I actually kind of felt bad for Fieri. I mean, when someone calls Jad out for being annoying, it’s always sort of sad, isn’t it?

It's not easy to be Guy Fieri

After the review, everyone seemed to jump on the anti-Fieri bandwagon. And as bad as you might feel for Guy, you can’t help but chuckle because it’s just so accurate. David Letterman, for example, recently read a Top Ten List of Discontinued Menu Items from Guy’s restaurant. Number 3 was Crust-Crusted Crust.

Guy is easy to make fun of, but it’s not as fun to watch someone squirm. It sort of takes the amusement out of it. Sure, he’s obnoxious, but watching a grown man with bleached hair stand up for himself is just sad. It’s like when you go to a screening of The Room and everyone makes fun of Tommy Wiseau to his face. It’s all fun and games until you see the aftermath of the train wreck.

What I’m getting at is, yes?Guy Fieri is awful. He is, hands down, the most annoying person on television. But it might be time to back off a little. Because it’s much more fun when the person you’re laughing at isn’t aware of it.