In days of old, knighthoods were only presented by the King or Queen to individuals who showed immense bravery and achievement. These days, though, we’ll call any old sweaty, grunting crooner Sir.

Tom Jones is no more. Yesterday he was a made a Knight of the British Empire, so – from now on – we have to only refer to him as Sir Tom Jones. As in ‘wasn’t the last album by Sir Tom Jones really disappointing,’ ‘what the hell was Sir Tom Jones doing letting Wyclef produce him?’ and ‘wouldn’t it be nice if Sir Tom Jones shut up about being friends with Elvis for once’.

Tom Jones (CDs) – sorry, Sir Tom Jones – picked up his Knighthood from the
Queen yesterday afternoon at Buckingham Palace, after the Royal Family
and the government realised that they should probably honour more
ancient, shouting, tight-trousered, unfortunately-bearded, "think I
better dance now", Welsh entertainers. And Tom Jones – sorry, Sir Tom
Jones – put aside any lingering thoughts of suicide to describe his elation at being knighted:

“I
love seeing the queen and I have always been a royalist. She is lovely
and she still is lovely… When you first come into show business and
you get a hit record, it is the start of something. As time
goes on, it just gets better. This is the best thing that I have had.
It is a wonderful feeling, a heady feeling. Sometimes you just can’t
believe it, you think you have been dreaming.”

Sir
Tom Jones, who was accompanied to Buckingham Palace by his son,
daughter and granddaughter, now joins the ranks of other musicians who
have inexplicably been knighted, such as Sir Mick Jagger, Sir Paul
McCartney, Sir Elton John and Sir Granville Bantock.

hecklerspray would like to extend its congratulations to Sir Tom Jones – we’re sure a knighthood gets you a long way in Beverly Hills.

Read more:

It’s knight unusual to be … Sir Tom Jones – MSNBC 

[story by Stuart Heritage]