Over the years, Michael Jackson’s appearance was kind of getting worse and worse.
From a bright-eyed youngster, he ended up looking like he’d become the human equivalent of Mr Potato Head. Various parts of his body looked like you could pop them off in order for you to swap them around and get hours of endless entertainment. We can nail all of this down to Pepsi when that advert turned Michael into an afro-flamed drinks spokesman.
Speaking of which, they’re bringing out a Michael Jackson action figure soon. Didn’t see that coming.
Alongside his appearance changing more times than a prostitute’s knickers, Michael Jackson also faced his fair share of legal troubles over unproven allegations that he liked to play with children. Well, now there’s going to be a Michael Jackson doll – so kids will be able to play with and everyone’s square.
Of course, it won’t just be kids who’ll play with the new Michael Jackson doll. There’s a pretty good chance that everyone who every tried to sue Michael Jackson – current estimate, 25% of the planet - will snap up a toy for good old fashioned voodoo. Those miniature Michael Jacksons will be flying off the shelves as people rush to get roughly three minutes of fun out of them. Curious? News.com.au reports:
The first two figures, produced by Playmates Toys, were expected to be launched in August, with a further two designs on sale before Christmas 2010.
Oh wow, the possibilities are endless for what designs there could be. We could have the black or white Michael, the burning head of hair Michael or Michael dressed up from one of him gimpy videos. Lou Novak, president of Playmates said further:
“Michael Jackson is a global icon that leaves a legacy in music, dance and fashion that remains unrivalled. We will honour his talent and his art expression by delivering a spectacular, highly detailed product line to inspire fans, collectors and new found enthusiasts.”
A literal translation? “We’ve found a way of printing money by exploiting retarded fans.”
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter


{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
…that’s your opinion that MJ’s appearance got worse over the years.
Michael evolved, which expressed differences in appearance.
Why do reporters insist upon making derogatory comments about Michael Jackson ? It’s really not cool, respectable or compelling to read,let alone, too often untrue & disrespectful.
Why can’t you just report facts of news objectively ? Isn’t that what news reporting is supposed to be ?
I hope the doll looks more like him than the paper-dolls do.
Matthew laidlow you will never make a stand up comedian nor a journalist. I’ve seen you previous bull on MJ, why don’t you get a life. You ain’t funny!!
MJ had vitiligo,lupus and his plastic surgery was his business. When you have done the humanitarian work that MJ did and donated the money he did to charity then I will give you some credit for it.
In the meantime keep your diane dimond school of no journalistic talent to yourself.
YAY!!!
Actually Michael got more beautiful and sexy the older he got! Sexiest 50 year old man EVER!
I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. Ok alot. Hey look the crayon I ate as a two year old.
That’s the most revolting statement I’ve heard in a LONG time.
HoeMama,
1. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
2. Michael Jackson has a beautiful soul that anyone but the most spiritually blighted can see.
3. Swallowing your own puke is nothing new for you I’m sure.
4. You and – what’s the name of the ignant no-name infotainment dude that wrote this piece? – should go out and snark each other to death.
Then there’s the outrageously expensive self-assembly accessories that you’ll be angrily punting across the living room floor at 4.30am on Christmas Day.
Michael’s Courtroom Scene. Michael’s desert hideaway. Hotel Babydangles.
Not one of them less than forty fucking quid.
What a complete waste of time, space and effort this article is! It’s not even factual for goodness sake! Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised by that, sounds like you are just the same as the rest of the ignorant fools working in the media.
Here’s an idea, go get yourself educated first, then you might make some sense.
And Michael Jackson was important, he is important, and always will be. He changed the world, he made a difference to benefit others. What about you?!!!
Well, it seems that you are really obsessed by MJ.
As far as I know, he didn’t change the face of Music through his appearece. So your comments were absolutely stupid.
Mathew, I trully believe that your face needs more plastic surgeries than MJ’s face. At least he was talented and inspirational. In 2010 it’s a disgrace to human nature that you post this article, and it’s more than obvious that you lack of creativity. As for the dolls, I think that you are the most exited person, and I’m sure you are already searching for a way to purchace an MJ doll. It seems that you can’t have real relationships, so you still need to play with dolls. And of cource you don’t have the guts to see the truth, so now that MJ is dead you need to take of all your racist feelings to a doll. Just pathetic!
What a sterling example of a male so seethingly jealous of a powerful black man that he must resort to articles like this that waste bandwidth. We all see where you’re coming from, Laidlow. Michael Jackson accomplished more in one day of his life than you could possibly accomplish in your entire existence. Get over it.
Jan @ 5:24 p.m., Laidlow is not a journalist. He’s a hack.
Why you hate Michael?
He is very cute.I so love him.He helps many children and adults.
He is not like you mentioned.Please learn more.
Mathew you can use some surgery yourself. Michael was beautiful with and without the surgery. I can tell that you were the kid that everyone hated, the one who looked at himself and saw real disgust. You call yourself getting back at the world because your the one with self-hatred, you racist. Gimpy videos, ha! what videos have you done that blew up so big. MJ is a real talent and your a sore loser who vents by writing stupid articles. Your bipolar, lol! Your using both personalities to talk about MJ being bad an then you say he’s great. Let me look up your condition in the DSM-V because you really need something to control your alter ego.By the looks of your face, oh crap, it would take thousands upon thousands to crack the surface of that cracked sun ridden face of yours
You’re one funny guy or atleast you are trying hard to be one. It’s not funny, is it? Why can’t people like you just let him rest in peace? He’d endured so much ridicule, hate, lies and media garbage about him when he was alive. Enough of this.
The man was a super genius. Aren’t you ashamed to print such derogatory articles about someone who has contributed so much to music and the world? Who cares about what he looked like. He had a heart of gold. All you jealous people out there probably just wonder why he has such a huge fan following, something that none of you haters will ever have. So just remain content being losers. Michael’s legacy will remain intact, no matter what rubbish articles you people print.
I’m very sorry I had to read this in order to comment. I can never get back that 5 minutes. If you feel good about yourself after writing this, my faith in humanity just fell another notch…..thank God for Michael Jackson, who keeps my faith in humanity up, and combats people like you.
Thank you Michael Jackson, for shedding light in these dark little places.
Mate, I realise you’re trying to get some attention for yourself but this article really offends me as I truly admire and respect Michael Jackson. You see, the gentleman was something you will never be – supremely talented, elegant, stylish and graceful, adored by millions of people around the planet and even at age 50, he had all it took plus more to sell out 50 concerts in absolute record time. What is more he gave approximately one half of his income away – which was most substantial – to charitable causes during his lifetime.
I’m not sure what a “potato head” is supposed to look like but I have no doubt you would qualify before Michael Jackson. However, you are entitled to your personal opinion. Is it jealousy of Michael’s success and popularity that is your problem or do you just revel in negativity for the sake of it?
“Michael evolved, which expressed differences in appearance”
…are you fucking stupid? First off, EVOLUTION determines the genes of a person, which are SET AT BIRTH. Secondly, unless he was a mutant/x-man, you cannot change your dna!.
MJ should go down in history as the biggest bare-faced (pardon the pun) bullshitter in the history of the human race.
Why are you people so desperate to stand up for this guy? because you like his music? Fucks sake, after thousands of years of our ancestors suffering to ensure we have a moeasure of democracy and free speech, the first thing you ignorant idiots do is use it express a blind opinion, without recourse to facts..simply because you are biased by your like of a musician.
To those defending anything about MJ: Please, do us all a massive fucking favour and leave no offspring.
Dear hoohahee,
I can tell you are very intelligent. So could you please instruct us on which facts are missing? Or maybe why you believe these posts show blind opinion?
Just curious, because your post actually sounds very emotional and irrational – shocking for someone as edified and otherwise logical as yourself. Why so much passion over someone who means so little to you? I would suggest psychotherapy before considering getting into a relationship, and certainly before reproducing. The world is already overrun with poor insight types as yourself. It’s ok. Don’t be afraid.
I keep saying alien human hybrid, thats what he was evolving into. Nobody listens. Where’s my buddy David Ike?
HoeMomma,
Don’t forget to take your antipsychotics, dear. Can we call someone for you?
I think u are the retarded person nOt the fans..
Michael was way above the rest…I dont think u could have survived 5 decades of public scrutiny, with problems such as vitiligo, lupus,pneumonitis, 2 n 3 degree burns….
Man get a life…he gave a lot to humanity not just music.
look you need to stop hating because your just doing this damage to yourself. michael didnt do anything to you so check yaself cause one day u will be judged.