The Da Vinci Code has been out for weeks and weeks now, and yet it's still proving to be far more controversial than a long film about a cack-haired actor running around Europe shouting theology at Amelie deserves to ever be.
Almost every sector of society has had something to say about The Da Vinci Code – either saying that it's blasphemous or really dull, respectively depending on if they're religious or sensible – and now it's China's turn. The Chinese government has sent round an order to all of China's state media banning The Da Vinci Code from all cinemas as of today, with no explanation as to why. It's a hair thing, it has to be a hair thing.
You just know, don't you, that when The Da Vinci Code comes out on DVD, it'll be trailed as 'One Of The Most Talked-About Films Of Recent Years'. Which is true, but The Da Vinci Code has only been talked about a lot because it's so long and dull and stupid and rubbish and Tom Hanks' hair looks a bit dumb in it, not because it's a film of any merit. But, even though there's about zero positive word-of-mouth about The Da Vinci Code, people are still going to see it in cinemas because of all the mindless Da Vinci Code controversy that surrounds it.
The Catholics hate The Da Vinci Code, the book has been at the centre of a giant lawsuit, and The Da Vinci Code has even been banned in Pakistan, all of which have helped boost the intrigue around The Da Vinci Code and keep it popular. Even mild-mannered Tom Hanks shouting down religious types acted as some kind of publicity boost for the movie. So imagine the giant shot in the arm that The Da Vinci Code will get by being banned by the Chinese government.
The Da Vinci Code has been banned in China, after the government ordered all of its cinemas to stop showing the film. China being China, there's been no official explanation about the reason for the band, but there are a couple of theories floating about. One is the usual old Pakistan-approved blasphemy argument; after all, the small amount of Chinese Catholics have apparently been up in arms about the depiction of Jesus in the movie as a whore-poking playboy since the movie's release.
The other reason is more business orientated. The Da Vinci Code had the largest opening of any American film in China, and has taken $12.5 million so far. The Chinese government is reportedly antsy about the westernisation of Chinese culture, and might have yanked The Da Vinci Code from cinemas to give Chinese movies a chance and stop people growing their hair in evil western mullets like Tom Hanks.
Still, another country banning The Da Vinci Code is all fat for the Da Vinci Code controversy fire. We can see the DVD tagline now; 'The Film They Didn't Want You To See… Because It's Quite Shit'.
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[story by Stuart Heritage]