e're fully aware that the most important thing in your life right now is knowing if an annoying skinny woman with no real right to be famous is pregnant for the fourth time or not, so we'll just come out and say it.

No – according to statement by her slaves, Victoria Beckham is not pregnant with a baby or anything else apart from a slightly inflated sense of self-worth. However, the knowledge that Victoria Beckham wasn't pregnant didn't stop David Beckham from basically telling all of Spain that she was, just because he doesn't understand Spanish very well.

Even though he doesn't even play for England, let alone captain them, any more and she's mostly well-known for being his professional wife, David and Victoria Beckham are getting more and more showbiz by the second. Well, OK – having Superdrug sell a perfume with your name on it isn't really A list, and nor is presenting television shows about how to wear clothes, but at least David and Victoria Beckham have seen Suri Cruise, which is more than you. What's that? You've seen Suri Cruise too? OK, so David and Victoria Beckham aren't really that showbiz.

Having said that, they're both still showbiz enough to get everyone in Spain excited about Victoria Beckham being pregnant, even if it did only happen because David Beckham can't speak the language of the country he lives in. As People reports:

A source tells PEOPLE that Beckham, who plays for the Real Madrid soccer team, was signing autographs and simply misunderstood what the female paparazzo was asking. He thought she was asking, in Spanish, how Victoria and the babies are, when in fact was asking how Victoria and the new baby are doing. 

hecklerspray has been travelling before, and so we can identify fully with David Beckham here. You're asked a question in the native language and, rather than admit to not knowing the language, you smile and say yes. Before you know it you're back home writing an entertainment news blog under a pseudonym while locked in your own cellar all the while knowing that every living Cambodian is actively hunting you down ready to castrate you for what you said about their ancestors.

Ahem, anyway, Victoria Beckham has had her slaves issue a statement absolutely denying being anywhere near pregnant:

"She's not pregnant. It's as simple as that." 

However, that hasn't stopped the speculation that David and Victoria Beckham are expecting a baby or at least want to be soon. And anyway, what with Justin Timberlake clone David Beckham not playing football for his country any more and Victoria Beckham not doing, um, whatever it is that she was famous for in the first place, it's not as if they won't have plenty of time to keep trying.

Read more:

Victoria, David Beckham Not Expecting - People

[story by Stuart Heritage]