Ah, Pete Doherty – there’s a person we haven’t got bored of yet. When he’s not making semi-decent poetry and prancing around with his band Babyshambles, there are other tedious connections to the adopted London wideboy.

His on/off/on/off relationship with the ever-skinnier Kate Moss has had the tabloids going crazy. Have they married, or haven’t they? Are they together or aren’t they? Of course, it’s well documented that Pete Doherty has had a few problems with drugs. Hardly a day seems to go by when we don't read all about his latest run-in with the fuzz. Once again, history has repeated itself and Pete Doherty has found himself on the wrong side of the law. So why are we reporting this then? Well, for a change it’s not about damaging his body through drugs, it’s about damaging our planet by littering and killing the environment. The dick, did he not see Live Earth?

Straight away we have to ask a few probing questions. Does Pete Doherty have the worst luck in the world? It seems that the poor bastard can’t walk down the street without getting arrested for doing something wrong. The government and police force must have a conspiracy against the poor mite. Though this doesn’t matter, since nothing Pete Doherty ever gets him a prison sentence. If we were found with bags of cocaine and heroin time after time, on the other hand, we’d be chucked in prison to share a cell with big Mick without a second thought. 

Not only does Pete Doherty make art out of his blood, it seems that crazy dance legends The KLF were responsible for creating this crazy indie star. The star that cost Glastonbury organisers literally fuck-all at this year’s festival, probably because he was too off his head on magic sherbet and disco biscuits to know what was going on. 

On Sunday Pete Doherty checked into rehab – and then checked out of rehab again after less than a day. Maybe he should have bloody stayed in there, since within seconds the police fined him £100 for chucking litter out of a taxi. Maybe they're making an example of him. But then again, kids might think it’s cool to litter now, resulting in mass panic from Daily Mail readers across the land to panic. A witness or a stalker at the scene said:

“He looked pretty sheepish, like he was embarrassed to get done for such yobbish antics." 

Sheepish? Hmm, maybe he wanted to be arrested for doing something a bit harder and keep his street cred up with all the deluded fans that idolise the useless waste of space. Punching a granny for her fish and chip supper or maybe just getting sent down for having multiple kilos of cocaine stuffed into his pants probably would have been seen as much more street. Maybe he should have swapped places with those schoolkids in Ghana who got done for drug smuggling. That would have propelled him to stardom for sure. We await the next Pete Doherty gets arrested story with much anticipation. Let’s give it two weeks max.

Read more:

Doherty Pulled Over After Leaving Rehab – Digital Spy