The BBC has killed off Top Of The Pops after 42 years. Well, we say 'killed off', but only in the way you kill off a rat by hammering in its head after the mousetrap only managed to maim it because you had the snapper set too sensitively.

Oh, come on, you remember Top Of The Pops – it's that show that your Dad used to like. You know, the show that's hidden away in the BBC2 schedule on Sunday nights before Malcolm In The Middle. The show presented by that bloke that nobody has ever heard of who looks like a rubbish Simon Pegg lookalike. Oh, so now you remember.

As far as long, drawn-out deaths go, Top Of The Pops is up there with the best of them, staggering around the schedules clutching its heart like a pensioner in a restaurant trying to divert the staff's attention so that their companion can slip cutlery into her handbag. You know what we mean. After 42 years, in the face of constant music videos everywhere you look, the BBC has decided that Top Of The Pops has outstayed its welcome. Jana Bennett brought the guillotine down with this statement:

"The time has come to bring the show to its natural conclusion."

The first-ever Top Of The Pops was broadcast in 1964 from inside an old church, and the show constantly evolved throughout its lifetime, with the inclusion of Pan's People – a bunch of ladies dancing to records in rubbish costumes – being a Dad-pleasing highlight in the 1970s. Also among the changes initiated by Top Of The Pops was a move from Thursday nights to Friday nights – when everyone who actually watched it was either out with their friends or not allowed to watch it because their Mum was watching Coronation Street – and then a move from Friday nights to Sunday nights – when nobody even realised it was on.

The fortunes of Top Of The Pops had been sliding ever since the seventies, where it had an audience of 15 million. And the Top Of The Pops presenters can't decide how pleased they are that the show has died. Jimmy Savile, the first-ever Top Of The Pops presenter, quite sensibly noticed that:

"In those days you would have to wait until Thursday night to get your fix and you don't need to do that anymore. Top Of The Pops has been overrun by video of music on TV."

While Noel Edmonds, currently to be seen on TV trying to convince idiots that they have the mental capacity of controlling the outcome of a completely random game, is more upset by the death of Top Of The Pops:

"It's a huge commodity and kids are still listening to music, even if they are downloading it. It's a tragedy when a broadcaster doesn't understand such a powerful brand."

So now that Top Of The Pops has gone, where will your Dad get his fill of scoffing at all the new music and being confused about whether the singer is a boy or a girl? Well, MTV, obviously. Or MTV2. Or MTV Base, MTV Dance, MTV Hits, VH1, Kiss, Q, The Box, Magic or Smash Hits.

And also: come on people, don't be so down. No more Top Of The Pops means 30 minutes less Fearne Cotton per week. This is a time for celebration!

Read more:

BBC Calls Time On Top Of The Pops – BBC

[story by Stuart Heritage]