We’d just like to double-check that everyone got the memo regarding it being the season to be jolly tra la la la la la la la la – because Robbie Williams seems to have got the memo saying it’s the season to be really really unusually miserable.

Whether you spend this week making your home look beautiful and seasonal, or basically teaching your children that if they sit on the laps of a succession of creepy old men without crying or struggling they’ll be given sparkly presents instead of years of therapy and marriage-destroying intimacy issues, spare a thought for Robbie Williams – because he’s deeply miserable. In an interview with The Big Issue, Robbie Williams says that he’s never going to have children, because any child of his will have to endure a lifetime of pain, Pain, PAIN!