Nikki Grahame From Big Brother To Ruin Live Music Forever

Big Brother has finished broadcasting in the UK and the only people panicking about its demise are the directors of Channel 4. What can they possibly commission to fill up E4 apart from looped footage of people snoring and repeats of Friends?

After every series, the same thing happens. Some of the girls get their waps out for a lad’s mag, a couple who met in the house pose for awkward photos and the rest of them end up touring clubs so drunk punters can leer at them.

Occasionally, a contestant sticks in the memory, usually for being gaspingly annoying and Nikki Grahame is one of those very people. Famed for throwing temper tantrums due to her own stupidity she has clung on to her Z-list status and is venturing in to new territories, with a stab at singing live. Yes, we’re scared too.

As far as we’re aware, Nikki Grahame doesn’t have a musical bone in her body. At best, she seems the sort who’ll get drunk from discounted supermarket wine and sing in to a hairbrush, occasionally poking herself in the eye with the bristles. The only time we witnessed her doing something music related was when she failed to switch on an MP3 player during a Big Brother task. Suffice to say, she couldn’t do this and play pre-loaded music. So the prospect of her singing live has “potential banana skin” written over it.

With enough musical tat in the charts at the moment, it seems that almost anyone can bag themselves a record deal. Thankfully, the A&R men of the world haven’t been seduced by her whiney voice to turn her in to a bad UK version of Kelly Clarkson. Instead, she’ll be doing cover versions all night, aka glamorised karaoke to any idiot who’s stupid enough to pay. We’ll let The Metro explain more:

“She’ll be covering Molly’s Chambers by Kings Of Leon, Music When The Lights Go Out by The Libertines and Someday by The Strokes – amongst other guitar band favourites – in the spirit of Radio 1’s Live Lounge.”

Like Radio 1’s Live Lounge, eh? Hmm, the only difference between Nikki Grahame and everyone who does the Live Lounge is that they have to suffer Fearne Cotton and they have a recognised music career. Nikki on the other hand doesn’t, so that PR spiel doesn’t quite wash with us.

But if you do fancy an evening of musical entertainment/comedy, then roll up to the following venues:

November 19th – The Assembly, Leamington Spa
November 20th – Mamma Jammas, Hereford
November 22nd – Freedom Bar, Soho, London
November 23rd – Talking Heads, Southampton

This also shows that people in the south have dreadful musical taste seeing she’s sticking to this part of the UK. If she’d toured around Manchester or Liverpool then her neck would have been slit with a smashed record from The Beetles, Bingo Wings or John McCartney.

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