Nicole Richie is a bit skinny, isn't she? And by being so skinny, it could be said that Nicole Richie is proving to be a deeply negative role-model for young girls all across the world.
Wait – young girls see Nicole Richie as a role-model? Does that mean that there are swathes of children wafting about the planet drawling to each other about how hot everything is? Christ, that's terrifying. Anyway, we're getting ahead of ourselves – Nicole Richie has admitted that she's probably a bit too skinny for her own good.
On paper, Nicole Richie should be one of the happiest women on the planet. She's got it all – in Lionel Richie she has a father with a nifty collection of clay heads, in Paris Hilton she has the only possible TV co-star who manages to make her look intelligent, and in DJ AM she has an ex-boyfriend who makes her look more legitimately famous.
Dig a little deeper, though, and you'll see how flimsy Nicole Richie's happiness really is: Lionel Richie is constantly worried by his daughter, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie are now sworn enemies, and DJ AM split up with Nicole and left her so sad she forgot to eat.
Since the split, Nicole Richie has been cast adrift, her starved brain making her think that cracking onto 11-year-old boys is even vaguely acceptable. But now Nicole Richie has admitted that she couldn't be more frighteningly skinny if she tried. Speaking to Vanity Fair, Nicole said:
"I know I'm too thin right now, so I wouldn't want any young girl
looking at me and saying, 'That's what I want to look like.' I do know that they
will, which is another reason I really do need to do something about
it. I'm not happy with the way I look right now."
But, now that Nicole Richie has taken a look in the gilded mirror of life and realised that she's more or less completely 2D, she's decided that it's time to pork the hell up. Most people would try and do this by spending a month bumming round on their sofa, pouring Guinness-flavoured Pot Noodles over their extra large pizzas and getting really into Pocoyo, but Nicole Richie is loaded, so instead she's hired a nutritionist, a doctor, a psychiatrist and a personal trainer, all of whom have presumably carefully assessed all aspects of Nicole Richie's life and told her "Jesus! Eat some more, would you?" One of her medical team has said:
"We're all concerned, and she's concerned, but it's either going to
improve or it won't. If it's not anorexia, she should be able to gain
the weight. If it ends up being anorexia, we'll help her with that. I
think she's willing to look this in the eye."
Or to be more accurate, look it in the eye and then sing a load of soggy, half-baked songs about it. That's right – Nicole Richie is following in Paris Hilton's footsteps by realising her very own godawful album. Everything's going to be OK, folks.
[story by Stuart Heritage]