Nicole Kidman’s Hatred Of Scientology Inspired Stupid Baby Name, Source
Now that Nicole Kidman has finally achieved her life's goal and given birth to a baby, we can all concentrate on why she gave it such a crappy name.
And actually it seems like there's quite a simple answer – Nicole Kidman decided to name her new daughter Sunday Rose because she really, really hates Scientology. Apparently.
You see, Nicole Kidman is a Catholic and Sundays are important to Catholics, but not important to Scientologists, and she used to be a Scientologist, so she called the baby Sunday as a sort of painfully oblique jab at Scientology. See?
Insulted, Tom Cruise has vowed to even the score by naming his next child after something that's important to Scientology, meaning that in a few years we can all say hello to little Unnecessarily Litigious Cruise or Unsettling Public Image Cruise.
Nicole Kidman isn't a bitter woman. Or at least we don't think that Nicole Kidman is a bitter woman – we haven't really been able to discern a single identifiable facial expression of hers other than 'mildly startled' since about 2004 – but if this new report is true then we might have to reverse our decision.
On Monday morning Nicole Kidman finally gave birth to her first biological baby, and we're absolutely certain that it was a moment of sheer, undiluted, life-changing joy for both her and Keith Urban. Nothing could have made the moment more perfect.
Well, except for Nicole Kidman deliberately giving the baby a name that would nark off Tom Cruise, anyway.
And that's what some are saying she did. Nicole Kidman's new baby is called Sunday Rose, which is obviously a direct insult to all Scientologists. Obviously. Don't believe us? MSNBC has spoken to a source who definitely exists and has obviously got all of the obvious facts:
“Nicole is a Catholic, and Sunday was an important religious day for her until she was involved in Scientology,” said the source. “She’s still bitter about her experience with Scientology and the fact her baby’s name could be perceived as one last jab doesn’t exactly upset her.”
Yeah! Take that, evil Scientologists! If naming a baby after a day of the week that has equal importance to every other day for them doesn't finish the religion off for good, nothing will! This is bound to hit Scientology harder than anything since the time that Halle Berry named her baby Nahla Ariela, which is an anagram of Anal Ear Hail, which is – oh, we don't know – something that Xenu invented or whatever.
Of course, there's also a report claiming that Nicole Kidman decided to call her baby Sunday Rose because Keith Urban had written a song called Sunday about the baby, and that probably sounds a bit more true.
Note to any Keith Urban fans reading – that's a brand new song called Sunday as opposed to the existing Keith Urban song Raining On Sunday, which Keith wrote before he met Nicole Kidman and was just a lonely cowboy with a dream of having a baby, naming it Sunday and getting to piss all over it whenever he liked. We don't want any confusion.
[...] Kidman is pissed! As this article reports, we have to presume she is pissed because, “we haven’t really been able to discern a [...]
[...] kidman urban baby named after nicole’s revenge on her ex’s religion. yeah, that’s a woman i want to marry and have my spawn HECKLERSPRAY [...]
does anyone else not understand what the author means by this line: “with a dream of having a baby, naming it Sunday and getting to piss all over it whenever he liked.”
I don’t get the pissing part. Do Scientologists pee on their children? It’s a really bizarre thing to say with no explanation.
I’m an old lady who read a lengthy Life magazine article about Hubbard’s dianetics when I was a teenager. It was so bogus and contrived as to be was embarrassing–very sophomoric. Like the wild imagining of a late adolescent male.
Also the drug addled madman L. Ron Hubbard had a profound mental problem about roses — the flower — and the way they smelled. HGubbard used to yark off in to violently insane screaming tantrumps when he smelled rose perfume.
This is all speculative nonsense. Nic’s baby is named after a famous Australian woman, Sunday Reed, who was very important in the Arts community in Oz: source, Nic’s father. ‘Rose’ was Keith’s grandma’s name.
Good for Nicole Kidman and her smoking hot husband Keith Urban! She represents women rights and is an outstanding role model, she is a very talented and beautiful woman, and deserves to have a baby if thats what she wants to do. It’s a testament to her levelheadedness and intelligence that she was able to break free from a religious cult, Not to mention that loser that poor little katie is now saddled with. Let’s hope she can see the light before it ruins her life, and totally screws up her little girl.
factnet.org
‘Unnecessarily Litigious Cruise or Unsettling Public Image Cruise’ – haha, genius.
Maybe Xenu Cruise as well
Good job guise.
Or… maybe she liked the name? Of course the Scientologty connection is far more interesting
This is a bullshit analysis. Please occupy your thoughts with more meaningful information.
And this is news how?????
I heard something the name is after an artist.
Oh i get it. this is meant to be humour
[...] are saying she did. …Nicole Kidman&39s Father Explains Inspiration for Baby&39s name … FOXNewshttp://www.hecklerspray.com/nicole-kidmans-hatred-of-scientology-inspired-stupid-baby-name/200815117…William Katz: Sweetness and greatnessWilliam Katz: Sweetness and greatness Jo Stafford died [...]
[...] religions? (The “Jones” part is a giant F U to all the Smiths in the world.) (Heckler Spray via [...]
[...] Source [...]
All what say Kidman, is bullsh… I dont Know wy people don´t really know whatare is talking about, but if you really understund what means is Scientology, good, but I reading many book about this and you can see for you self what is Scientology.
I think that the best way to Know something is to see for you self.
Check this WHAT is Scientology on the web.
Scientology wishes it would be allowed to suck bizz-awls.
But its not
…So they assign good’ole Tommy Cruise-tastic to the task.