The difference between Paris Hilton and her sister Nicky Hilton is clear – when Paris meets a stranger she instantly sucks them off on the internet.

But Nicky Hilton? Nicky Hilton arrests them. Which, somewhat bewilderingly, is what happened at 5am on Saturday morning. According to reports, a homeless man named Michael Broadhurst decided to shove Nicky Hilton in the back outside a pancake shop, and Nicky responded by placing that no-home mofo under citizen’s arrest.

Which, technically, isn’t correct. Nicky Hilton should have placed the tramp under vapid, waify billionaire heiress arrest, but it wouldn’t have sounded quite as good.

Today is Pancake Day – obviously the best day of the year. You will spend today feasting on piles of delicious pancakes, we will spend today co-creating this ridiculous Twitter Pancake tag and Nicky Hilton will spend it, where possible, washing the scum off the streets like some sort of skinny, mostly-pointless Dog The Bounty Hunter.

But unlike Dog The Bounty Hunter, Nicky Hilton doesn’t need a bucket of bear mace and an absurdly-chested wife to help her enforce street justice – all she needs is the often-underused power of the citizen’s arrest, which is apparently what she did on Saturday morning outside a pancake shop. A policeman told Newsday:

“One of our deputies was at the IHOP, having a coffee break, and noticed a waitress run outside.” Another deputy was then called “because there was a misdemeanor battery that involved Nicky Hilton and a man named Michael Broadhurst.” The 50-year-old homeless person “came up behind Ms. Hilton and pushed her. She’s OK, but she was desirous of prosecution. She said, ‘I am placing you under citizen’s arrest!’”

What is it with heated batter that turns celebrities into wild-eyed vigilantes? You’ll remember that Kid Rock only starts fights when he’s in waffle restaurants, and now Nicky Hilton is taking the law into her own hands outside pancake shops, too. Mark these words – at some point before Easter, George Takei will stab a man to death for looking at his Yorkshire Puddings funny.

But back to Nicky Hilton. It was incredibly brave of her to take on her homeless would-be attacker herself like that, especially since Michael Broadhurst must easily be the poorest man she’s ever met. Second after him is now Kim Kardashian, who has a speedboat but it isn’t even painted gold, the grotty skank ho.

But, while Nicky Hilton’s citizen’s arrest has turned her into a genuinely weird postergirl for law and order, we still hope that this arrest was a one-off. We don’t want to go into why too much, but it’d be an awful strain on her time, what with her family’s recorded enjoyment of DUI and all. The paperwork alone would render it virtually impractical.

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