Newsreader Busted For Punching Cop In Gob

We don't know about you, but whenever we've got in trouble for emailing bikini photos of ourselves to married men, we usually tend to divert attention away from it by punching policewomen in the face.

That's what American newsreader Alycia Lane seems to have done, at least. Already this year Alycia Lane has found herself in the middle of a scandal after she was caught sending photos of herself in a bikini to a married NFL host, but now she's blown that furore out of the water by getting arrested for punching a plain-clothes police officer in the face in New York at 2am on Sunday morning. Alycia Lane has denied the charges, of course, and says that she was just festively acting out the scene from the Nativity where baby Jesus punched a plain-clothes police officer in the face in New York at 2am on that holy Sunday morning. Or something.

You know what we love? Female American newsreaders, that's what. Giant-haired, model-pretty, dumb as a sack of verrucas, so ambitious they'd stab you to death with a letter-opener if they felt you were getting an atom more attention than them and all called things like Zoran Alopecia, female American newsreaders are perhaps the purest example of everything that's good about the world.

After all, it was a female American newsreader who slagged off her sister-in-law in the loo on microphone during a George Bush speech about 9/11, and it's a female American newsreader who's just been arrested for punching a policewoman in the face in New York. Alycia Lane is an Emmy-winning newsreader for KYW-TV in Philadelphia, something that makes her slightly famous in Philadelphia but not much everywhere else. But Alycia Lane is working on that.

How? Why, by apparently punching a plain-clothes policewoman full in the face and insulting her because she was driving her car quite slowly, of course. Alycia Lane was arrested at 2am on Sunday for allegedly punching a policewoman's face in following an argument and was subsequently charged with assaulting a police offer, a felony.

To her credit, though, Alycia Lane denies absolutely everything about her arrest, as her lawyer David Smith told the New York Daily News:

"She absolutely didn't hit or make derogatory remarks to anyone," Smith said. "She was inside the taxi when the initial confrontation was going on." He added that Lane got out of the cab only to photograph the fracas, but "her camera was violently grabbed from her. She was shocked to learn after the fact that these people were plain-clothed police officers."

Of course, since Alycia Lane is a whiter-than-white upstanding citizen with an unblemished record of do-gooding and a brain that has never even computed a single bad thought, we have no option to believe her side of the story. Except that this isn't the first trouble Alycia Lane has gotten into this year - a few months ago the wife of an NFL network anchor busted Lane's scheme to email a load of bikini photos of herself to her husband.

And isn't sending some beachwear photos to a man exactly the same thing as punching an undercover police officer in the face? Of course it is - but we don't think that Alycia Lane should to jail for this incident. No, she should team up with Foxy Brown and Naomi Campbell to become a new female superhero trio dedicated to fighting crime by kicking stuff over and beating each other up a lot and shit.

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News Anchor Busted For Punching Cop - New York Daily News