Michael Jackson’s This Is It opens on Wednesday, and it’s bound to be a stupendous hit. But what’s it like?

Well, frankly, who cares? This Is It will be a hit no matter what it’s about. This is It could consist of nothing but Michael Jackson mumbling threats at a sleeping cat for two hours and it’ll still end up as one of the year’s top-grossing films. But it would be sort of nice to know what This Is It is like, wouldn’t it?

Well fear no more – Michael Jackson’s brother Jackie has seen This Is It, and he loves it. And he once recorded a song called Cruzin’, so he knows quality when he sees it.

Michael Jackson’s This Is It couldn’t have asked for a better name. Not only is it the phrase he repeated again and again like a melting wax mannequin of Rain Man when he first announced his London comeback, but he also managed to record a song of the same name before he shuffled off. And the title has meaning, too – because this really is it from Michael Jackson. Once the film is released, we’ll never hear from him again. Apart from, you know, when his albums keep getting constantly repackaged, each with a brand new unfinished, lacklustre demo bolted onto it to keep the money coming in.

And on Wednesday This Is It will finally be released. And nobody knows what it’ll be like. The movie posters promise that you’ll see Michael Jackson ‘like you’ve never seen him before’, which we originally assumed meant ‘gaunt, frail, wheezing, forgetful, dangerously medicated and conspicuously on the brink of premature death’, before the This Is Not It campaign put the kibosh on that idea.

So we just don’t know. Luckily, This Is It has already been seen by one reviewer, and he’s as impartial as you can possibly get. He’s… oh, he’s Michael Jackson’s brother Jackie Jackson. Here’s what Jackie Jackson thought of This Is It, according to TMZ:

“My brother’s movie ‘This Is It’ is truly riveting. Michael is electrifying! We get a glimpse of a true genius at work. His passionate message for healing the world, saving the planet and our children’s futures is something he was always striving for in his lifetime.”

Might Jackie Jackson have an ulterior motive here? We don’t think so. Remember that this is Jackie Jackson we’re talking about here – a Jackson so staggeringly inconsequential that, rather than waste their time thinking up a proper name for him, his parents just decided call him an abbreviated version of their surname. His opinion counts for even less than yours – and look at the state of you, for crying out loud.

Now, Jermaine Jackson’s review of This Is It is something we’d love to hear. Chances are it’ll go something like:

“My movie ‘Jermaine Jackson’s This Is It’ is truly riveting. I am electrifying! We get a glimpse of a true genius – me, Jermaine Jackson, the original lead singer of The Jackson Five – at work. My passionate message for healing the world, saving the planet and our children’s futures is something I was always striving for in my lifetime. Which is still ongoing, by the way. Not like some people I could mention. I probably have an album out soon or something. Love me!”

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