New Unironic Knight Rider Movie Is Go

If you had to list all the things you wanted to see in a movie, high on the list would probably be a man with a face transplant played by an alleged violent husband and a pithy car with the voice of Mr Feeny from Boy Meets World.

Well that's just great, because that movie would be Knight Rider. And now Knight Rider is going to be turned into a blockbuster movie financed by the Weinsteins. Wonderful - soon we'll be able to spend a fortune on a cinema ticket just to try and recreate dull Saturday afternoon television. We can't wait.

Knight Rider, it could be argued, is a victim of Bagpuss Syndrome - where you think something is brilliant as a child because you have a tiny stupid child brain, but when you return to it, you realise it's a massive load of rubbish. Don't believe us? Watch an old episode of Knight Rider and demolish any moronic studenty 'so bad it's good' thoughts. Knight Rider isn't so bad it's good. It's so bad it's bad. So God knows what the Knight Rider movie will be like.

It's been announced that Knight Rider series creator Glen A. Larson will write and executive produce the Knight Rider movie, which is expected to go into production next year. And it isn't going to be a Starsky And Hutch-style spoof either, as Larson explains:

"A number of people wanted to do a pure comedic send-up of it, but I
always felt that would throw away the franchise. There was
always some humour on the show, but this film will probably have more
gallows, foxhole humour."

Even though the Knight Rider movie will be super-serious, Larson is aiming for a PG-13 rating, as he doesn't want to alienate the movie's core audience, even though the core audience for a Knight Rider movie will be gormless ironic twentysomethings who laugh loudly in a needlessly confident way at things that they can't really remember but a glossy magazine once told them they like, not 13-year-olds. 

Of course, the big question is whether or not David Hasselhoff will return to play Michael Knight, the man who gets his face shot off by a baddie before a creepy millionaire rebuilds him and sends him on a mission of revenge, accompanied only by the world's gayest car. And the answer is unclear - Larson isn't letting on as to who will play Knight in Knight Rider.

We think that David Hasselhoff would still be perfect for the Knight Rider movie, especially in light of claims made by the wife who is divorcing him. Just imagine a Knight Rider scene in which a female temptress exposes her villainous ways to Michael Knight, only for Knight to retort by calling her a "whore cunt bitch slut drug addict" in front of her children and then threatening to drive K.I.T.T through her house so that he can steal her jewellery. We'd pay to see that.

The announcement of a Knight Rider movie isn't surprising, though. After the remake of Dallas, the remake of Magnum P.I and this new Knight Rider movie, the only 1980s TV show not to be made into a new film is Jamie And The Magic Torch.

Read more:

Knight Rider Revs Up For Feature Film - Reuters

[story by Stuart Heritage]