Here we are again, churning out possible This Morning replacements for Fern Britton like our lives depended on it. Which they don’t.

Don’t worry, though. This won’t last forever. This time next week, in fact, we’ll be bombarding you with Big Brother profiles and rundowns. And that’s better, isn’t it? Or worse. But definitely one of those two things. Unless it’s exactly the same. Let’s face it, it’ll be exactly the same.

Anyway, will Emma Forbes be the new This Morning host? Let’s jolly well find out, shall we?

Emma Forbes – Wouldn’t it be nice if Emma Forbes became the new co-host of This Morning? After all, she’s worked with Philip Schofield a number of times in the past, most notably on that Saturday morning kid’s show of theirs. And then, once This Morning is presented by Philip Schofield and Emma Forbes, they can then bring in Trevor And Bloody Simon as gardening experts, can’t they? And then have Shane Richie present a wacky gameshow segment in the middle. And have endless worthy phone-in discussions about acne with sad teenage girls from Bromsgrove. And Five Star can be on it too! And it’ll be great, won’t it? It’ll be lots of fun! You tedious, tedious bellends. Stop it. Stop it now.

Tomorrow: Coleen Nolan!

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