Who’s ready to watch four middle-aged women discuss their vulvas in genuinely uncomfortable detail?
You are? Hooray! Because there’s a new Sex And The City 2 trailer out! Except, wait, no, Sex And The City 2 is a Sex And City movie, so there won’t actually be any of the sex from the TV show in it. But don’t worry – in its place will be lots of endless guff about emotions and feelings, and more eye-bleedingly terrible outfits than you’d think was possible to contain in a single feature-length film. That’s almost the same thing, right?
And as a teaser for all the terrible outfits in the film, the new Sex And The City 2 trailer is filled to the brim with all kinds of cack-handed, impractical, garish, stupid-looking pieces of clothing. But what are the 15 worst outfits to be found in the Sex And The City 2 trailer? Glad you asked. Let’s find out…
First, here’s the full Sex And The City 2 trailer. Enjoy it, if that’s your sort of thing…
Wow! What a non-stop blizzard of genuinely horrible clothes that was! Why, we’re going to have to slow things down and show you the 15 worst outfits from the Sex And The City 2 trailer, just in case it all zipped by a bit too quickly for you to fully appreciate how catastrophically woeful every single character looked in it. Ready?
TERRIBLE SEX AND THE CITY 2 TRAILER OUTFIT #1: The ‘naked, with lots of disgusting flaps of excess skin’ look
TERRIBLE SEX AND THE CITY 2 TRAILER OUTFIT #2: The ‘hello, I’ll be your male 1980s professional wrestler turned silver service waiter for the evening’ look
TERRIBLE SEX AND THE CITY 2 TRAILER OUTFIT #3: The ‘gay, balding Easter Bunny’ look
TERRIBLE SEX AND THE CITY 2 TRAILER OUTFIT? #4: The ‘ill-advised Beyonce Single Ladies video re-enactment starring three different versions of Liza Minnelli‘ look
TERRIBLE SEX AND THE CITY 2 TRAILER OUTFIT #5: The ‘skullcap made from reclaimed Christmas wrapping’ look
TERRIBLE SEX AND THE CITY 2 TRAILER OUTFIT #6-9: The ‘no, no, no, oh definitely not’ look
TERRIBLE SEX AND THE CITY 2 TRAILER OUTFIT #10: The ‘Zippy from Rainbow wants his cadaver back’ look
TERRIBLE SEX AND THE CITY 2 TRAILER OUTFIT #11: The ‘attention-seeking recent divorcee with ideas above her station’ look
TERRIBLE SEX AND THE CITY 2 TRAILER OUTFIT #12: The ‘surgically grafted Miley Cyrus co-joined twin’ look
TERRIBLE SEX AND THE CITY 2 TRAILER OUTFIT #13: The ‘conspicuously transsexual stormtrooper’ look
TERRIBLE SEX AND THE CITY 2 TRAILER OUTFIT #14: The ‘Princess Leia if she was part horse’ look
TERRIBLE SEX AND THE CITY 2 TRAILER OUTFIT #15: The ‘whoever your stylist is, kill them now, actually kill them, bludgeon them over the head with half a brick, roll them up in a rug, stuff them into the boot of your car, drive to a quarry, wait until midnight and throw their lifeless corpse in because seriously what the fuck have they done to you’ look
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hoohaahee says
The sheer BALLS of SJP to release a perfume entitled “lovely”.
I’m amazed that this universe does not collapse under the weight of such a massive contradiction.
Joe Momma says
I think I threw up at #2.
aa915 says
I’m all for women of a certain age fighting the good fight against poodle hair and mother-of-the-bride dresses, but this is a bit desperate.
Carola Von H. says
Is there a Buffy in the house? The Hell Mouth has opened again…
Kitsune says
oh my god hahaha you made me laugh so hard.
kitti b says
WTF was going in #15??? Ms Nixon looks like she’s auditioning for the part of Johny Depp’s Mother in Alice In Wonderland. I mean SERIOUSLY!!!
stella says
Such male hunting attires make younger women look like young sluts and older women look like old whores.
brandon says
Wow i love this movie.
eindeut.ig says
seems like patricia field did a few faux pas
but still i think your article is disrespectful and ridiculous and the fact that is’s written by a man makes it even worse
Jamie says
I love the way you write Stuart. I don’t know how you do it, but keep on doing it. I’m going to be made to sit through this shite. I can’t remember how you described the first pile of steaming manure they did, but that and some industrial solvents got me through it. Something to do with trannies, I think… Which is unfair in a way, because I’m sure many trannies would shun these outfits as absurd.
bruno says
This is my favorite movie ever!
gogo says
i beg to differ. i think all the looks are beautiful, except for no14.
Anastasia says
…Sounds like someone either A) is extremely jealous, therefore unnecessarily harsh, or B) hasn’t been looking at fashion as of late.
jesse says
They’re so funny.
cynthia says
funny movie
gino says
I have seen the movies from HBO sex in the city. It is funny, though this movies is much better
elle says
Awesome!