There's a saying that goes "nothing is certain but death and taxes," but to that we say 'pah!' Surely the real saying is "nothing is certain but death, taxes and Michael Jackson never releasing an album when he says he will".

Because for the last five or so years, Michael Jackson has been constantly making promises about bringing out all kinds on confusing music but nothing ever materialises from them. But this time perhaps Michael Jackson really is going to be releasing a new album soon – he's been recording some songs with Will.i.am from The Black Eyed Peas at his new home in Ireland, according to reports. And we don't know about you, but we're using this intervening time to fully steel our minds against the prospect of listening to Michael Jackson sing a song about his "humps."

Michael Jackson's last album – or at least Michael Jackson's last album that wasn't yet another lazily-compiled Greatest Hits repackage – came out in 2001. It's been quite a ride for Michael Jackson since then, with highlights including getting sued by his ex-wife, getting sued by his vet, making giraffes slosh about in blood jacuzzis and that whole child molesting thing. It's long been on Michael Jackson's mind to get over these events by making a musical comeback, but how?

The Michael Jackson Hurricane Katrina single never got off the ground nor, sadly, did the Michael Jackson album of duets with the Pope. Then there was the nonexistent Michael Jackson/ Westlife collaboration, but that's something we're less bothered about. But what about a new Michael Jackson album proper? At first Michael was recording an album with a Bahrain record label – and moonlighting on 50 Cent mixtapes – but that deal fell through, and we thought that any hope of a new Michael Jackson album died with it.

How wrong we were. Now it transpires that, days before he makes his first public appearance in Britain for years, Michael Jackson has been slaving away working on new tracks with Will.i.am from The Black Eyed Peas, as FemaleFirst reports:

The eccentric singer invited the rapper-producer to join him in a recording studio in Ireland to work on some tracks for the forthcoming LP. Jackson, 48, told TV show Access Hollywood: "I like what he is doing and thought it would be interesting to collaborate or just see how the chemistry worked. I think he's doing wonderful, innovative, positive, great music."… Jackson said: "I am always writing a potpourri of music. I want to give the world escapism through the wonder of great music and to reach the masses."

It'd be deeply foolish of us to try and second guess the music that is created when two musical masterminds like Michael Jackson and Will.i.am hit each other head on, but we suspect that any new Michael Jackson performances will see him singing over the top of the Reservoir Dogs theme-tune for a while and then pissing all down his pants.

Read more:

Michael Jackson's Peas Music – FemaleFirst